The Hills

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Rude Awakenings

Elsewhere, Jayde is feeling saucy (wait for it, double meaning). Crying and loudly talking shit, she says, in a nutshell, that Brody is a terrible boyfriend. Most damning, he's "rude." Fair play, but rudeness is not exactly a cardinal sin up there with coveting and gluttony. But then he overhears this and horns into the conversation. She covers her ass by saying he shouldn't drink so much. He reminds her that she has already finished an entire bottle of Jaeger during the half of the party she actually attended. Everyone listens as she calls him rude some more and sniffles into her tissue. Then he says those three words every girl wants to hear: "You're fucking delusional." The unintelligent, alcohol-fueled skirmish carries on for a few more beats of rude-rude-rude before Brody walks out to the beach proclaiming that they are done. As he walks down, Kristin salutes him. Classy.

The next morning, still-drunk BS, with drink in hand, meets Kristin on the beach to rehash. First they laugh about Holly's hackneyed dance moves and act all faux-concerned about her potential drinking problem. Then they moan about JB's supposed joke and his accusations of a still lingering connection between Kristin and Brody. Kristin consults her season outline and says wouldn't it be funny if she and Brody started dating again? BS practically licks her lips at the potential for a forthcoming Kristin versus Bunny smackdown. From the smile on Kristin's face, she's pretty amped for it, too.

Over at the Speidi Web 2.0, it's time for Holly-vention, take two! Spencer is conspicuously absent as ShePratt Seeley rolls up her sleeves and delegates roles: Heidi will be the nurturer, ShePratt the toughie. Holly knocks and comes in. Heidi gets way too smiley and asks how Kristin's party went. Holly admits she had a couple (dozen) drinks. Heidi says she thought Holly was going to go cold turkey. Holly clears up the "miscommunication" (i.e. her explicit promise to stop drinking) by saying she just planned to tone things down. She adds, furthermore, that she's a grown-ass woman, so STFU. Heidi Finnegan gets deadly serious and confirms that, indeed, Holly does not acknowledge her problem.

And here's when things get so warped, it's positively amazing. ShePratt gets to business, telling Holly that, as a former meth face, she can tell an addict by its dance. And those moves Holly busted were straight-up boozetacular. Holly tries to deny, deny, deny. She accuses ShePratt of projecting her own problems onto Holly -- which may not have been so far off-base in hindsight. ShePratt shoots back that it's rude (that word again!) to bullshit her. Holly says the bullshit is that she's being patronized by her silicone-for-brains younger sister and some aspirant handbag-making junkie bitch.

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The Hills

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