The chatter is broken up when Jayde announces that Brody is coming. Crazy Old Uncle Frankie joins in on the fun, telling everyone to get down on their knees. And they humor him because he's never been quite the same since the Alzheimer's kicked in, you know. The garage door swings open, and everyone yells a surprise to Brody. He feigns shock and humble embarrassment. He hugs everyone and heads upstairs to change. Because he has another trendy T-shirt and another pair of overpriced board shorts that just scream surprise party.
With that show of solidarity dispensed of, let the shit-talkin' begin! Lo and ShePratt investigate about the bon temps between Kristin and JB. She plays it cool. Brody comes over, beer in hand, and does what Brody does best: meddles. He asks, "Where's your man? Where's Justin." Commercials. (Really, show? That's the best first-act kicker you got?)
Some time later, Brody and his pals play around on the slip 'n' slides, in the bouncy castle, in the sprinklers... This really is a party designed for a six-year-old, but with booze. Disaster is imminent. And before I can even get that word fully typed, Kristin gets smacked in the face with a water balloon. She lets out a big, disruptive shout about it. Which, fair enough, it probably hurt like a mother. After drawing the attention of Brody's plastic MILF mother and eliciting an eye roll from Jayde, though, she takes it in stride and starts joking about it. Sensing her good humor, Brody zeroes in and resumes teasing her about JB again. Jayde watches like a hawk as Brody's MILF gives Kristin a familiar hug, telling her JB would be lucky to be her man. This reminds Jayde that Brody was, in fact, Kristin's man for nearly a year.
She decides to break up that little walk down memory lane by ordering Brody to "open all these fucking presents." Elegance. Naturally, Brody quickly finds Kristin's sex toy present. Kristin and her shit-eating grin tell Jayde they're for both of them. Brody jokes that they're deep in the relationship and, thus, need to start getting freaky. Does he really have to justify getting freaky to a porn star? Seriously, homegirl has wriggled to the top of a pile of nekkid Brazilians to get a glimpse of Hef's octo-tip. You don't get much freakier than that. Also? Brody's mom is right there. Cringe. Brody loves the collar and puts it on immediately. Then he gets to the whip. He gives it a flick in the air while Kristin Mean Girls that it's really for Jayde since Brody's so whipped. He doesn't notice, though, because he's too busy with his new (sex) toys. Jayde dies a little inside, remembering what it used to be like back in innocent, untainted Canada. Where maple syrup ran freely, and a beaver was nothing but an adorable woodland animal. Oh, those days are gone.