A bit later, BS joins ShePratt and Kristin on her beach chairs. BS mourns JB's flakiness, but Kristin hangs on to her playa street cred, saying she doesn't let boys keep her up at night. Just then, Brody and his entourage arrive with the rambunctious fanfare you might expect from someone who has his own last name tattooed down his torso in massive Edwardian script. He brings down a beer for Kristin. She asks if he had fun today. He says he had a blast until the end, when Jayde got pissy. Kristin fans the flames, saying it was her own fault because Brody's MILF "was, like, Team Kristin." Does anyone really talk about themselves like that? Like, in real life? Brody admits he left Jayde at home because she was being a wet blanket and didn't want to split her boyfriend's attention with Kristin. Fair enough. Kristin acts sympathetic, though not entirely remorseful, saying it's a shame since Jayde was so psyched about the party. Brody reiterates that he loves her, but adds, "Love is a horrible thing when it goes wrong. This is the kind of thing that ends a relationship." Commercials.

Elsewhere, Heidi meets some dickwad in a 10-gallon hat -- oh wait, that's Spencer! -- for sushi dinner. Heidi can't resist commenting on it. Because, for the love! He is clearly not taking the asshat off, so she shifts to which helpless, little living creature they will adopt and slowly destroy in the near future. She lists everything from cats to lizards. Spencer notes that she didn't include "baby" on the list. She's all, "Oh, but I wasn't finished." She says her mom was already pregnant and knocked up a second time at her age. Which worked out so well. He asks if he's in a marriage or a dictatorship. She says both. They start eating, and the soy sauce suddenly becomes a strained metaphor for things that they want, either individually or together. He gets to the point, saying he knows he doesn't want kids -- ever. She counters, "Yes you do. You just don't know it yet." Hmmm... Almost as brilliant as "A baby will fix all our problems!"