Beachelorette pad. Kristin updates BS that she ended things with JB. She admits she was motivated primarily by fear, since she hasn't had a boyfriend in two years and comes from a broken (albeit ridiculously luxe) home. Emboldened by what appears to be straight vodka, BS slurs that trust takessssss time, and thingssss'll work with the right persssssson.

Back at the engagement party, Brody and Jayde toast the soon-to-be-marrieds. A sure sign of doom, if you ask me. They would seriously both (together and separately) be at the bottom of my list for potential wedding toast makers. Jayde jealously eyes the happy couple and notes how funny (read: aggravating) it is that they've been together only two months and are engaged, whereas she's been banging Brody for 18 months and has nothing but sore labia to show for it. She insists they don't have to get engaged but should do something so she knows Brody's not afraid of commitment. If she says "promise ring," I'll pop that collagen right out of her lips.

After all this demanding rhetoric, she insists that she's happy with the relationship as it is. Brody notes it's a little early to be talking commitment since they got back together -- and rather reluctantly -- about 13 seconds ago. She pulls out the same bullshit entitlement that spurred Brody to drop her the previous 439 times, saying he was the one who caused all their problems. He should be grateful that she's even gracing him with her psychopathic, self-deluded presence right now. To his credit, Brody remains calm even as she flailingly suggests they move in together. He tells her this is not the venue for such a discussion. Sad piano music. Which may very well be emanating from Brody's own mind. Homey looks like he's about to cry.

As sunset sinks over a pier across town, Audrina stomps her little booties up to JB for another ill-intended self-empowerment meet-up that will inevitably result in manipulation and soul crushing. Or will it? JB, having received a taste of his own medicine, is surprisingly contrite. He tells Audrina he never meant to hurt her. She tells him they can never be friends. As if they ever were. He lets it hang in the air between them for a bit, then as soon as she starts in on another line from her script, he returns to fighting form. He claims she's been the one screwing with him and that he tried to stay out of her life. She cuts him off, telling him he's selfish and self-centered. He pretends to be all sensitive and good guy-like, claiming he never led her on so as not to hurt her. She says he hurt her regardless.