The Hills
They Meet Again

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Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
They Meet Again

Whitney scouts the Regent Beverly Wilshire with Lauren. The Reg Bev Wil! From Pretty Woman! ["That's my first reference also! I wonder if they regret that." -- Miss Alli] Lauren (totally not focused on the job at hand) tells Whitney about her coffee date, and that it was good to see Jason. Whitney doesn't seem all that interested. Maybe Lauren could offer advice on the location? Or at least ask if they could recreate some of the famous scenes from Pretty Woman at least?

Teen Vogue. Whitney and Lauren are returning from another location scout and discussing how all of the places were too small. Abrupt conversation shift! Now they're talking about how Audrina and JB are back together, and they have a cute exchange about how Lauren has learned her lesson about getting involved in her friends' love lives. Somewhere, a producer pokes Jason with a stick, and he wakes up and calls Lauren to invite her to dinner. Whitney does that thing where you are in the same room with someone taking a phone call, so you have to pretend you're not listening, when really you are listening with all your ears. As soon as Lauren hangs up, Whitney asks about the call and comments that it sounds "romantic." This would all be a lot more suspenseful if stupid Jason hadn't announced his engagement to Not Lauren already. I mean, I don't want Lauren to get back with Jason, but a little nail-biting would be welcome.

Das Bolthouse. Heidi asks her assistant to transfer all her contacts from her old phone to her new one. Because Heidi is way too busy surfing the web and staring at the wall. Spencer, who was definitely not at all told to do this by the producers, calls to ask Heidi to go to dinner. AT THE SAME PLACE AS LAUREN AND JASON! Can you believe it? Whatever will happen? OMG! WTF?

Jason and Lauren arrive at dinner and sit down. Jason starts bobbing his head to the music and Lauren rips on him. Lauren starts babbling about lighting, and Jason practically swivels his head on a post to check out a chick walking by. Lauren busts him, and Jason doesn't even try to deny it. For some reason, Lauren is still flirting with him. Habit? Reflex? Camera-whoring?

HEIDI AND SPENCER! ARE WALKING! INTO THE RESTAURANT! You'd think Lauren would have some sort of Heidi-sensor that could go off if Heidi got within a hundred yards or something. Lauren spots them first -- she and Jason are too busy romantically texting other people while at dinner with each other to notice at first. Spencer makes a crack about how heartwarming it is to see them back together when he walks by. Lauren and Jason wisely remain silent. Jason tells Lauren not to let it bother her, and I seriously never thought I would say this, but Jason is wise. Meanwhile, Heidi and Spencer are coming up with "witty" commentary about how Lauren probably picked up Jason in rehab or jail, and maybe they'll be making movies again. It's obscene how much joy they are getting out of ripping on Jason and Lauren. And look, I do it too, but (A) it's my job; (B) I was never best friends with either of them; and (C) I'm not trying to parlay my commentary into a record deal. ["I would add to this that you do not royally and ridiculously suck worse than Jason and Lauren ever could, either, because I think that, too, is relevant." -- Miss Alli]

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The Hills




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