Once Heidi sits down, Audrina mentions Spencer's outburst at da club. Heidi makes an excuse that he has "a lot going on." Like what? Online crystal buying? Studying blueprints of government buildings in major cities? Audrina tells Heidi she's in denial, and Kristin agrees. Heidi claims that all guys are a little bit controlling, prompting a pretty killer "Jigga what?" expression from Kristin. The gals point out that Spencer's former zaniness has transformed into full-on angry scariness. Kristin says she doesn't know many girls who'd be okay with this Frankensteinery. Counters Heidi, "Here's the thing: You don't know me." She claims that Spencer didn't change her, that she changed herself. She says she no longer has the time nor energy to deal with the constant interventions, which is why she's cut people out. It's an answer that's really neither here nor there since they're talking about how Spencer's the one who's turned into a monster. Still, can you blame Heidi for taking it a little personally considering she's the one with stitches hidden under various weave pieces and flaps of skin all over her body? The ladies can only shake their heads in sad resignation.

That night, Kristin, Bartender Stacie, and Audrina meet up at that club that won't admit LiLo. Kristin asks where Colonel Moussetard is, and Audrina says that the pop sensation is at home in bed. Soon enough Brody shows up with his pussy posse, followed quickly by Lo and ShePratt. Kristin and Brody do their monkey dance, flirting and finally kissing when one of the homies literally commands them to do it. Just in case you didn't know these are glorified sixth graders with ill-advised access to alcohol...

And then! Heidi and Spencer make their way in and set up their little crystal trunk show, Amway-stylez. Spencer is wearing a crystal for courage while Heidi is wearing one "for geniuses" that protects her "in war zones." At this, she tries to wink at Kristin, except the individual parts of her face are pretty much glued together at this point, so it's more of a blink. Also? My mind just melted. The dumb ones struggle to humor her while Kristin struggles not to laugh in her face.