Across the VIP area, Holly bitches at no one in particular about her strained relations with Spencer. She says she hopes Spencer initiates a fight because she "will kick his little fucking ass punk bitch across town, and then he can shut up once and for all!" Back to the banquette, Spencer tells Kristin he doesn't let Heidi watch TV or read the internet. All she does all day is write poetry, pray, and pet puppies, he says. "And read books!" Heidi chimes in proudly. Spencer says ominously that Heidi is "logged out of The Matrix." Kristin can't even be asked to comment on this because she's scanning nearby exits for when Spencer unleashes fireballs from his eyes.
Back to Holly, who tells ShePratt she's about to lose it. She can't believe Heidi was so rude to her and didn't defend her at the last encounter with Spencer. ShePratt says she's ceased trying with them. Holly moans that the Pratts have cut out everybody. Cut to a shot of Spencer watching the light of a candle flicker through his crystal, his Preciouuuuuuus. Fireballs, people! Kristin finally finds a suitable evacuation route and takes Brody with her.
The next day, Kristin pours Brody his morning coffee as he struts around in a crop top. They piece together what happened last night through the vague recollections of their drunk goggles. Kristin says she thinks what they "have going on" is good. He makes his intentions clear, saying he's enjoying being single. She lies and says she is, too. Or is she lying? It's hard to tell with Kristin because she doesn't really fit into the trope of the rest of the nincompoops on this show. It makes her both a brilliant and flawed torchbearer for this dismal last season.
They make the inevitable shift to recap Heidi and Spencer's performance the night before. Kristin thinks he's too possessive but acknowledges that Heidi's a willing participant. Or, at the very least, a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. They agree that, either way, the two of them aren't living in the same world as everyone else is. Brody adds to the conversation that lunacy is a Pratt family trait. Maybe it skipped a generation? With nothing more to say on that subject, Kristin playfully tells Brody to leave the crop top on as they playfully begin a little afternoon delight.









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