The Hills
Truth And Time Tells All

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Truth And Time Tells All

Previously: Joe R kicked ass and took names while I was on vacation. Thanks, Joe! Also, Spencer had someone paint graffiti-style art on their RENTED apartment wall, and Heidi was annoyed that he didn't even consult her first, since she wanted one of those black-and-white photos of little kids wearing grown-up clothes and then holding a rose, except the rose is the only thing in color. SO CUTE! And...meaningful. Anyway, Spencer also gave Heidi a non-engagement ring in a moment that was about as sincere as Heidi's many "candid" bikini photos in the tabloids. Audrina started dating Justin-Bobby, and Lauren tried to keep her mouth shut about what a jerk he was.

Audrina invites Lauren out for drinks so she can hang out with Justin-Bobby and get to know him. Lauren asks how things are going with him, and Audrina announces that she has commitment issues and she's never had a real boyfriend. Audrina isn't sure what she wants now. Lauren has learned her lesson and doesn't say anything other than that Audrina is a smart girl and will do the right thing. Hint hint. Dump the chump, Audrina.

Heidi arrives for work at Bolthouse Studios. How does she still have that job? Remember when she used to get yelled at by Brent, like, every day? I guess Brent realized that publicity can only help build his brand, so he gives Heidi little to no work to do. Elodie, Heidi's co-worker, notices Heidi's engagement ring and they squee and squeal about how Heidi is engaged! To Spencer! Elodie even says, "O! M! Geeeeee!," continuing the trend of saying chat-speak in real life started by Whitney last week. The co-worker advises Heidi to have a long engagement. Hint hint. Dump the chump, Heidi. Also, in addition to the eyebrow problems identified by Joe R last week, Heidi's hair is also way too blonde for her skin tone and it washes her out.

Spencer and Brody go shopping together, which is something two straight dudes do all the time! Brody asks how things went in Santa Barbara. Spencer explains how he used to be against marriage. Let me quote him: "I thought marriage was for guys who couldn't get laid that were like, I'll give you half my money...all you gotta do is make my food and hang out with me." What a charmer! I can see how Heidi fell for him. Anyway, Heidi changed his ideas of marriage. Brody is just interested in the bachelor party. On the way out, Brody tries to make a joke about how married couples don't have sex, like, who did he get his joke book from, Ray Romano?

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The Hills

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