S Bar. Lauren's Birthday Party. Stephanie and Roxy show up at the party, and there's even an event coordinator named Kimberly outside. That's not the same Kimberly who works with Heidi, is it? Inside, Lauren is partying with Audrina, Whitney, and Lo. Hey, that Roxy is Ken Olin and Patricia Wettig's daughter, isn't she? As Lauren drunkenly talks to Stephanie and Roxy, Audrina and Lo gossip about how Stephanie kind of sucks and they don't trust her, because her loyalties definitely lie with Spencer. Meanwhile, Lauren is telling Stephanie that she's a good person. Stephanie totally notices Audrina and Lo talking shit about her so Lo is forced to do the fakey-fake smile and toast. God, I can't wait until Lo and Audrina are proven right.
Bolthouse. Hey, that was the same Kimberly that works with Heidi. Wow, what an unbelievable coincidence that she was there, and is now able to report to Heidi that Stephanie was at Lauren's party. It's almost like you'd think someone set it up. Anyway, Heidi can't believe that Lauren won't be friends with her because Spencer's her boyfriend, yet she'll be friends with Spencer's sister. Except that's not why Lauren hates her -- it's because Heidi and Spencer spread the rumor about the J-Wahl/Lauren sex tape. Hello! Maybe Heidi needs to read the weecap archive! Heidi immediately phones Spencer to rat out Stephanie. Spencer is all pissed, but didn't he just accuse Stephanie of being BFF with Lauren, and that's why he wouldn't tell her his plans? So why is he shocked by this? And why am I looking for continuity or logic? From Spencer? And I can't stop using question marks?
Whew. New paragraph should break the streak. Toast, which is a restaurant in L.A. Brody and Lauren meet for lunch. She teases him about his girlfriend, Cora, but things seem cool now. She reveals that she's been hanging out with She-Pratt, and Brody's head comes up sharply like Lauren just said she's been dabbling in heroin or something. He warns Lauren to be careful, and speculates that Heidi and Spencer are using Stephanie to get in close to Lauren for some scheme. Lauren thinks that's ridiculous and that Stephanie's a nice person. Brody thinks she should just take it slow. I wish they had kept it more mysterious, so we would wonder if Stephanie was taking orders from Spencer, instead of us knowing that Spencer is pissed at her too. But Stephanie could have her own agenda, which would be awesome. I don't know why I expect this show to be like Dynasty. Ever since Lauren caught J-Wahl kissing Jessica on Laguna, I want shit like that to happen all the time.