The Hills

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Your Spencer Or Your Life

People's Revolution. Remember when there were storylines about Kelly Cutrone and Whitney and how scary it was to work there? Too bad they've all been jettisoned so that we can learn more about Audrina and her dead eyes and her non-boyfriend. Lauren tells Whitney she's going to a party in Malibu. Lauren then relates the whole history of Audrina and Corey and Colin and Justin, but she's not sure who Audrina will be bringing to the party. Lauren admits that she likes Corey better than Justin because he actually wants to be with Audrina. It's kind of pathetic that Audrina is happy when a guy returns her calls and doesn't stand her up, since those are sort of minimum expectations.

Audrina and Corey go out to dinner. He explains that he's going back to Australia in December, so he gets summer in the US and then summer again in Australia. Not a bad way to be. Corey asks what's up with Audrina and JB, and Audrina claims that she's single. Corey says that he's been single for about a year, and they both agree that they're stress-free. Wait, did Audrina get breast implants when I wasn't looking? Because in the shirt she's wearing tonight, her boobs looks HUGE. And very melon-like and fake. Anyway, Corey must notice them, too, because he suggests they leave and they practically run out of the restaurant to go do it in the parking garage or something.

LAL House. Audrina is wearing sweatpants that are really tight and pulled up to her knees and seriously, I haven't seen a look like that since 1987 and dudes in my middle school would wear tight sweatpants to school and this one dude also didn't wear underwear and I'll let you figure out how/why everyone knew that, given that it was middle school. Anyway, his nickname for a few years was Juevos Rojos or something like that (I never took Spanish so I apologize if I butchered it). I don't think Audrina will have that problem. But it's clearly the next day after the date, and Corey is still there, and she's feeding him breakfast, so you know what that means! It means that he's hungry! I can't believe Audrina doesn't have a little kitchenette or something in her house. Lauren shows up and they discuss how hot it is out, and how great it will be in Malibu that afternoon. Then they start talking about how they are going to Cabo for Brody's birthday in a week and Audrina invites Corey to come with them. He thinks it sounds like a big deal and raises his eyebrows, because he's totally in.

Heidi and Spencer's Place. Heidi is ready to go to brunch, but first, Spencer wants to pick a fight about Holly joining them. Why would Holly even want to go with them? That's what I don't get. She knows Spencer hates her, Spencer is an asshole; why wouldn't she just make plans with Heidi alone and go shopping or something? Spencer pressures Heidi to kick Holly out and end her free ride. Heidi hates to treat family that way, and throws out that Spencer was at his sister's house for two months. THANK YOU! Also, awesome. Spencer has no comeback for that. I don't know why Heidi doesn't just walk out of the room and take a victory lap, because for once, she shut Spencer down. Spencer tells Heidi that either he's moving out or Holly is, and Heidi can decide. And she has to think about it! First of all, we all know she should give Spencer the boot. But if she really loves him, why is this even something she needs to think about? And why doesn't she tell him not to threaten her? Gah.

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The Hills

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