The next morning, Lauren and Audrina are curled up with their hangovers, talking about who they hooked up with. Audrina left the club with one "Justin," while Lauren made out with Jason the Londoner. Meanwhile, at Spencer's House of Cowed Girlfriends, they talk about how Spencer's friend Frankie's birthday party is tonight at Les Deux, and they wonder if Lauren will be there. As it happens, Lauren and Audrina will be going. As they get ready, Audrina says she ran into Brody, who gave her shit for not going to the housewarming. Lauren is seriously not regretting it. She seems honestly done with Heidi, and she and Audrina toast their Red Bulls at having her out of their lives. "It's gonna be a long night," Lauren predicts.
Spencer's. Heidi's modeling clothes for her boyfriend, because she could think of anything grosser to do that MTV would still agree to air. I know girls model clothes for their boyfriends all the time, but there's a context here. And that context is "Spencer." Here's also where we get our first glimpse of Heidi's brand new jugs. Spencer brats that if Lauren shows up at Frankie's party, after ditching theirs, that'd be pretty shitty. Heidi's written Lauren a letter, and in an uncommon display of backbone (coupled with an all-too-often display of front bone -- put the breast plate away, Heidi!) she doesn't let Spencer read it.
Frankie's party. To the strains of Rihanna's "Umbrella" (which is a canny choice of a song that's an ode to friendship disguised as a bizarre vagina metaphor), Lauren and Audrina flit around the party until Heidi and Spencer show up. And then they have a walk-off! No, they don't. Heidi simply hands Lauren her letter and Lauren gives her the iciest shoulder you've ever seen. Of note: the severe Le Deux lighting makes Heidi's brow-less visage look even more frightening.
Audrina then recaps the Heidi/Lauren drama to yet another completely uninterested third party. This guy manages to care even less than Chiara did. Audrina goes to find Lauren in the bathroom line. Somewhere else, maybe or maybe not within earshot of said bathroom line, Spencer makes an obnoxious point to thank someone for coming to the housewarming, because "good friends came." See, Heidi? Your friends never liked you! Spencer was right! Don't you feel better now?
In the bathroom, Lauren reads the letter, which contains the usual Heidi self-delusion ("I understand you don't like Spencer, but I didn't do anything") mixed with disarming sincerity ("The housewarming wasn't the same without you"). It's too bad, because Heidi does honestly seem to want to be Lauren's friend, but she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I mean, come on. Obviously it was Spencer who started the sex tape rumor. Obviously. And Heidi can pretend not to know until her 'brows grow back a human color, but it's not going to change the fact, and it's certainly not going to make Lauren want to be her friend any more.