The Hills

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
What Happens in Cabo...

Cabo. The group all sits down for dinner. Brody says that he's worried about Lauren and Audrina, because they're the only chicks there, and Lauren says they are honorary dudes for the week. So now JB has to put the moves on Audrina, since he found out that she might be with someone else. You know he's totally that type. Doesn't every girl have a That Guy in her past? The one who treats you like shit when you're single, but the second some other guy enters the picture, he turns up like a bad penny, flirting and making you mix tapes? Wow, I'm old. Mix tapes. George Hamilton. I'm going to put on the copper bracelet I wear for my arthritis and go watch (as my dad calls it) Cold Cases. JB gives Audrina shit for not sharing his room, and Audrina says that she figured he'd want the room for sexing up the hotties (what hotties, by the way?) and reminds him that he didn't want to be exclusive. JB mouths to Doug, "I'm free!" and Audrina tries to pretend she doesn't care. Frankie makes a toast to Brody, and Doug says that he decided to bring the party to their villa. Lauren asks if they invited "sleazies" over. And then like a million people come streaming in the door, mostly female.

Lauren and Audrina head over to a balcony somewhere and get all catty about the girls that showed up. Lauren keeps urging Audrina to just tell JB that it's over and she's moved on. Audrina complains that JB is always playing games, and Lauren Bradshaw reminds Audrina that he can't play games with her if she refuses to engage. Audrina can't admit that she loves the games and it gets her motor running, if you know what I mean. So instead she just plays with her hair and looks around and stares at things. I mean, what do you do when you're on an all-expenses paid trip to Cabo?

The guys are sitting around discussing how they're all single. JB thinks this is the perfect weekend for him to get "a hall pass" from Audrina. God, he's a dillweed. A bunch of people all hop in the pool. Audrina just stares at JB as he flirts with various girls and gets in chicken fights. Wow, that was a fascinating sequence. This show is really running out of the minimal plot it once had.

Spencer and Heidi are at a restaurant, waiting for Stephanie and Cameron. Spencer is bitching that his sister is late and says that she's probably at the tanning salon. Heidi corrects him that she's misting now, not tanning. Should these two really talk? They're both pretty orange as well. Although with the eight inches of makeup Heidi wears at all times, it's tough to tell if it's fake tan or bronzer. Spencer keeps bitching and whining about how he can't imagine why any guy would want to date his sister.

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The Hills




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