Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
Cut The Fat

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This Little Piggy Started A Modeling Agency

Janice tells Teresa that she needs to be able to count on her from nine to five to go to auditions. Janice also tells her that, in order to make it in this industry, Teresa has to get a little work done on her bulbous nose. I would add "take a shower" and "get off the rock" to Teresa's to-do list, as well. Janice says that she's sorry if it's painful for Teresa to hear. Teresa says that she never really liked her nose anyway, so she wouldn't mind a little rhinoplasty. Janice quite sincerely says that she really believes in Teresa, but doesn't know if she has the right to tell Teresa to get a nose job. Janice says that she's set up a consultation with plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan, and that she'll be there holding Teresa's hand the whole time. Janice says that ultimately, this is a decision that Teresa has to make. She interviews that plenty of models have had a nose job and that she thinks it will help Teresa, but that it's a "huge honking decision" to have your honker worked on, and thus not for everybody. Janice really does seem to like Teresa, even if their relationship is doomed for a wire hanger beating of some sort.

Sooner than you can say, "Strapping black man," a strapping black man walks into the agency. Janice says that all of her models needed work, so she called in Andre, her personal trainer. Andre will get the models in shape and help them "get their asses off the back of their kneecaps." The models don't know it, but they are headed for Janice's Model Boot Camp. Janice gives Andre some markers, stickers, and smiley and frownie face stamps. Whereas on a certain other show that shan't be named these supplies would be used along with magazine clippings and poster board to make a crap-ass collage about why each model is so unique; on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the only arts and crafts project involved is one called, "This is what makes you fat and ugly." The models strip down to their underthings, and Andre gets to mark up their good and their bad areas. Tony Perez, who is the guy with lots of "character" that Janice liked in the last episode, says that he used to be really fat so he thinks he looks pretty good. Tony is cute. Janice grabs his love handles and shakes them around and notes that he lives in Hawaii. She says, "What are you eating? Poi?" And I must confess that my favorite rule for The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency Drinking Game is, "Drink when Janice is culturally insensitive." If you're playing along, prepare yourself to get a whole lotta wasted in a few minutes.

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency




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