Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
Cut The Fat

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This Little Piggy Started A Modeling Agency

When we return, Janice tells Nyabel that if she walks into Vogue or Harper's Bazaar or Cosmopolitan and refuses an editor's request to take off her clothes, that editor will call Janice and tell her that Nyabel is fired. Janice asks Nyabel again whether she's ready to take her clothes off. The other models cheer her on and one says that they all have work to do. Nyabel caves and walks over to Andre. She interviews that after the earlier incident with Peter she was ready to walk out the door and never come back, but ultimately she decided that she's not a quitter. Rather, she is one who will bring "dramatic tension." Andre circles Nyabel's stomach and notes that there's a little pouch of fat. Nyabel starts to blame it on genetics, and Andre asks her if she doesn't believe that she can change her body. She says that she could, and Janice interjects with, "I will." Nyabel looks at her and gives a triumphant, "I will!" Never have I been so rapt by whether someone is going to do some freaking crunches. God.

Cut to Janice interviewing that a Janice Dickinson model has polish and manners, and that punctuality is key. Back at the agency, Sorin/Serene/Daniel walks in. Janice yells that he's late. S/S/D says that he's sorry but he was driving from Vegas, and goes to give her a big hug. Just when you think that she's going to be won over by his rippling, masculine arms and three possible names, Janice says that he should have left Vegas earlier. S/S/D says that it was snowing. Janice gives him a look that indicates she's not quite sure whether he's a total bullshitter, but nevertheless can't seem to get the smell of bullshit out of her nose. Then again, she actually might have seen some bullshit by the side of the road and tried to snort it, so who can say. Janice interviews that she was really annoyed when "Soreen" sauntered in late and tried to charm her. Cut back to the office, with Janice telling Soreen/Sorin (I think we can get rid of the "Daniel" for now) that he should have hailed down a ski patrol to get him a helicopter. It of course makes no sense, but the underlying message to be there on time is a good one.

Janice tells S/S to drop trou, and we learn that his name is in fact Sorin Mihalache, and that he's from Romania. We also learn that Sorin is ready to drop trou at any moment, without hesitation. And also, by Janice's reaction and some faint blurring, that Sorin's underwear leaves little to the imagination. Andre puts some happy faces on Sorin, then says that his back is completely overdeveloped. As we'll soon learn, that isn't the only thing on Sorin that is overdeveloped. Janice puts a happy face on each butt cheek and then -- just in case you weren't sure if this is actually sexual harassment -- says, "Make them dance." I'm sure that "make them dance" is somewhere in the Clarence Thomas / Anita Hill court transcripts. Nonetheless, Sorin makes them dance. Really, he just makes the right side dance. Perhaps his left butt cheek is paralyzed? Hey, it's not homelessness, but it's something. Janice then tells Sorin to take it off for the girls and starts to sing some stripper music. Sorin does indeed take off his underwear and clutches the Golden Diamond of Romania in his hand. And seriously, Sorin's body is something else. Let's all pause to give a big thank you to whoever decided that it's okay to show naked butts on TV.

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency




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