Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
Cut The Fat

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This Little Piggy Started A Modeling Agency

Janice goes to Sorin and says that she's doing this because...but then she has to stop and fan herself and look around and say to the others, "He's packing." Oh, so she's doing this because she's twelve. Someone puts a happy face sticker on Sorin's wang. Sorin is totally calm throughout. Janice voices over that she asked Sorin to take his clothes off because he is confident about his body. Well, I think that if most people had that particular body there would be no such thing as "clothes" in our society. Janice says that Sorin is the perfect example of what a model should be -- camera ready. And also, she says, she just had to see that ass. Everyone gives Sorin a round of applause, and he finally gets to go put his clothes on.

Janice says that the models have to make improvements or she'll drop them. And then she tells the models to go eat. Except for Nyabel. Everyone laughs, because this is a joke. I think.

Meanwhile, Ian Thomas, one of Janice's original five models who has the "classic American good looks," comes in to see Janice. He is wearing a suit. Ian tells Janice that he's taken a job, and the time commitment won't allow him to participate in her agency. In other words, he has come to his senses. Janice pauses for a moment and then says, "Congratu-fucking-lations, man." Ian will be working for a financial advisor for a brokerage. Janice says that inside she's crying, but she's also very proud of him. She hugs him and tells him to kill the world. Janice voices over that Ian had something, but he's just one model and she can't fret over him. After he leaves, she says that he wasn't hot enough anyway. I would add that he seems like kind of a tool.

And then, for no reason at all, we cut to Janice's apartment, and she voices over, "I loooooooooove the garbage man." Yes, Janice loves her big, black, hunky garbage man. You wanna make something of it, honky? Janice runs around frantically putting trash in bags and asking others if they have any trash. Interview Janice says very seriously, which is in itself hilarious, that she woke up and saw the garbage man as she was going out the door to have a consultation with Teresa about her nose procedure. This is a lie, because we will next see Janice at the consultation wearing a completely different outfit. But, way to try to create a narrative thread, whoever told Janice to say that! Janice runs outside, but the garbage man is not there. Janice says that she'll get him on the way back. She then runs outside on her balcony and waves and whistles and yells hello. The sound of a trash truck is like raw oysters for Janice. The trash man, who looks like Keith from Six Feet Under, totally ignores her. Janice says that this is an ongoing thing. He finally gives her a non-committal wave as if to say, "You think I'm taking Warren Beatty's sloppy seconds, bitch?" Janice goes back in and tells Duke/Gabe that you can find the best male models running trash. I have a feeling that the trash man once asked Janice whether she had Tyra's number, and so she's committed to a lifetime of torturing him.

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency




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