Janice voices over that as she was waiting for the models from the invite-only casting call, she had some unexpected visitors. Her new assistant, Jeff, tells her that the tacky triplets -- who she hired to be her assistants in the first half of the premiere -- are back to see her. A scowling Janice says, "They are not back to see me." She has taken off her suit jacket and has a fabulous black dress with the above-mentioned red scarf and a leopard print handbag in front of her, and I can not adequately explain to you how fucking good she looks. Jeff says that the triplets said they work for Janice, and Janice actually says, "Oh good grief." Vaseline Janice interviews that initially she thought she'd need three assistants because of her busy schedule, but she and the triplets "chemically don't get along." And this is coming from a woman who gets along with chemicals.
The triplets come bouncing in and wave at Janice in a peppy, somewhat annoying way. Janice covers her head, says, "Oh God," and then proceeds to mock their greeting. They come closer to hug her, and Janice tells them to not touch her or her Dolce dress. I half expect her to whack them with a golf club or something. Okay, I half hope that she whacks them with a golf club or something. Janice gives the triplets distant air kisses and one of them jokes that they're wearing Forever 21. Janice voices over that she doesn't even remember the name of one triplet, because she's so forgettable. Said triplet also had something smart to say about everything, and Janice doesn't need the attitude. She says that they're just not right. And they're not even deliciously wrong.
Janice sits the triplets down and tells one of them to take out her chewing gum. The triplet does and appears like she's going to stick it under the desk, and I don't have to tell you how well that goes over. Janice tells the triplets that she needs to explain something to them -- that something being the fact that they no longer work for her. Inside the office, Janice says that she no longer needs an assistant for each of her mood swings. She says that she has a new assistant and yells, "Jeff West!" and claps for him like he is a dog. And, fundamentally, he kind of is. She says that Jeff knows how to walk, talk, and stir martinis at the same time. Something tells me that the latter qualification is the one that really got him the job.