Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
Get Down To Business

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Bonjour, Bitches! Part Deux!

Some porn music cues the entrance of Mr. Peter Pork. Janice voices over that Peter came back right after the invite-only casting call. This is a lie, because she is wearing yet another entirely different outfit. Janice hopes that Peter is there to accept her as his business partner. I can't stand Peter. He says that he couldn't sleep the night before, and his mind kept racing because of "the possibilities." Uh-huh. He's prepared a few questions to see where Janice is. He asks whether the models that she's chosen have any experience. The answer: No. Are there any bookers? No. Is there an accountant or bookkeeper? No. Is there a bank account? No. Do we have any relationships with the bank? Janice says yes, then changes her answer to maybe, because she doesn't know what this means. Peter asks whether anyone has sued them yet, and he is pleased to hear that no one has. Peter says that he's the business person, so he will take care of the lawsuits. He then says that he thinks this might be a marriage made in heaven. Only if God is a sadist. Janice smiles, says yay, and shakes his hand.

Peter Pork interviews that he decided to partner up with Janice after meeting her in person and hearing about her history, her family, and her career. He felt that she was a business person trying to come through an artsy person, and he liked that. Also, she has a big rack. Janice gives Peter a big hug. She voices over that with twenty models on her roster and Peter as her partner, she's well on her way to building a superagency. I don't know where the other three models came from to get to the figure of twenty, but I suspect that you might see their faces looking fierce on milk cartons in the near future. Savvy visits the office and looks really cute. Janice says that it's taken her thirty years to get to this place. Janice says, "Everyone refers to me as the world's first supermodel, as a photographer, as a parent." Everyone, except for those who refer to her as, "That crazy tranny who was always drunkenly trying to hump Tyra." Now, she's an agent, and is ready to get down to work. I of course make lots of fun of Janice, but I love her and can't help but hope that she really does well, but not well enough to avoid freaking out and screaming at people all the time.

Next on JDMA: Janice and Peter Pork have some problems. Didn't see that coming, did you? A hunky black man helps Janice totally destroy the self-esteem of the models, though she claims this is so she can build it back up. And Janice tells Teresa Cutie that it's not her responsibility to become Teresa's mother. Teresa dodged a bullet there, didn't she?

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

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