Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
Get Down To Business

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Bonjour, Bitches! Part Deux!

Next we meet a girl named Naz Mandighomi who is nineteen-years-old and from Valencia, California. Janice seems to like her. She takes a bikini-clad Naz out on the balcony to shoot her. With a camera. And what does it say about Janice that I just had to specify "with a camera"? She tells her to be Vogue rather than "cutsie-pie" Playboy. Suddenly, Janice notes Naz's sagging ass and asks how old she is. Janice says that she's fifty-one and her ass is tighter than Naz's. Yes, but she has small gnomes working round the clock to pull and stretch it into place. Janice tells us that it is crucial for a model to be in shape, and you can't have your ass hanging off of the back of your kneecaps. Janice sits down with Naz and tells her to work on her diet and to get in shape and then come back and see her, because she can't send her out all flabby and shit. Every minute of this show makes me just a little more anorexic. Janice says that she's telling this to Naz woman-to-woman, and it hurts her to have to say it. It totally does not hurt her to say it. Janice forgets that several seasons of ANTM have documented her hatred of all things fleshy. She says that if she doesn't have a flabby ass -- which she most certainly doesn't -- Naz can't have one either. But for some reason Nyabel (a.k.a. Sudanese) can. I don't get it. Naz seems to handle this criticism like a pro, and says that it was a pleasure before she leaves. That's how it's done, cow triplets.

Next, a hot young man sits across from Janice, and she starts laughing. He asks why and she says that he's the cutest thing she's ever seen. He introduces himself as Marcus "Pretty Boy" Foy from New Orleans. Tyra. He says that he's working on a hip hop album right now, and sees some cross-promotional opportunities. Janice yells at him to lose his bling. She actually says "bling," and kind of swaggers her way over. She does this because Marcus is black. I'm sorry, but it's true, regardless of the fact that she had sex with Grace Jones. Janice orders her lackeys not to let any man or woman into the agency with bling on the ear, because she wants to hire people who bring in revenue, not be on the covers of rap albums. Oh, dear. Janice, as you might have gleaned, is in a bit of a mood. Marcus half-heartedly lifts up his shirt and asks if that's what Janice wants. And just when you think you know her, Janice says no, to put his shirt down, and that she's looking for Polo. She kind of laughs at how he lifted his shirt up. His pictures are Not Good.

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency




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