Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
Get Down To Business

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Potes: B | Grade It Now!
Bonjour, Bitches! Part Deux!

Janice tells another man that he's too short, says that someone else is too old, and voices over that she needs models who can move, pose, and turn it out. We see a photo of a naked pasty white guy with his hand cupped over his bits as Janice says that she wasn't getting what she wanted from her models that day, so was extremely frustrated. She takes out that frustration by yelling, "Your fingers need buffing, your cuticles look like you're Martha Stewart on crack, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!" at a pretty model who is kind of laughing, but also kind of scared. Janice says that the pretty model lost twenty-five points, and that that's worse than coming in drunk. She should know. Janice then, in a bit of dialogue taken directly from an Oxygen/Lifetime Original Movie starring Tracey Gold and Meredith Baxter (Birney?), yells at the girl, "You're going to show me that you're sorry with your eyes, and you're NEVER GOING TO DO IT AGAIN." She says that she wants tears, then hands her camera off to someone else to shoot the picture. The photo is actually pretty awesome, but I don't think that girl makes it anyway.

We cut to Janice sitting at her desk and looking perturbed. She starts tearing up, and says that she has so much passion for what she does when she sees it, but she's not seeing it. She says that she'll go to South Beach or New York, but she's not seeing it here. Nathan walks around in the calm manner of one who has seen this at least thrice daily for his entire life. Janice says, "I'll go to gay bars, I will go to the moon if I can find one girl who is the next Iman or Naomi or Giselle." I wonder how old Janice was when astronauts first landed on the Gay Bar in 1968. Nathan just kind of looks at her as Janice tearfully says that maybe she's just not cut out to do this shit. We head to commercials.

When we return, Janice tells us that six or seven good models came in back to back, and they started to make everything gel and happen. Most of the ones that we see in a quick montage actually don't look that great, but then what do I know. Janice tells an ethereal pale blonde woman that her shoot was hot, and puts her hands up in a victorious manner. Good times.

Janice sits with her lackeys. She is wearing an entirely different outfit, so who knows which day it is. They review the photographs of the models. Janice says to the others that Marcus was cute. She notes that she needs to round out the agency so they have catalogue, runway, advertising and spokespeople. Janice asks the lackeys if they are "in agreeance." Everyone is, apparently, in agreeance.

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency




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