Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
Get The Picture

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You Guys, It's Almost Over

Next we are in sunny San Juan, Puerto Rico, for Janice's shoot. She's wearing a bikini and is posing for the cover of Escape magazine. She skips onto the beach where the shoot is taking place. She says that it's nice to be the model instead of the agent for one day. For the shoot, she is working with Ivan Batista, the most famous photographer in San Juan. In her bikini, on the beach, she looks more like a drag queen than ever. She says that she really connected with all thousand pounds of Ivan. If you know what she means, pussycat, and I think you do. She kisses Ivan on the cheek and says, "That's his Christmas card."

Meanwhile, back at the agency, there is yet another open call. Peter tells us that turning down Frederick's of Hollywood was a major setback for the agency, and they can't let that happen again. Most of the models that they have now aren't pulling their weight. Since they're planning on making some drops soon, they are having the open call to find more top end models.

Janice yells to let the next set of monsters in. Kodi tells us that any time you have an open call, you might not find anything. But you always hope for a diamond in the rough. First there is a girl from Dallas, then a guy who Janice thinks looks like Jesus, and then a guy in a yellow suit to whom Janice yells, "Do you know Curious George?" Heh. Gabe says, "America the not so beautiful. Otherwise known as our open calls." He is so cute. He adds that some people's dreams need to be crushed, because they're so delusional. He says that the whole thing is funny, not in a "ha ha" way, but rather in a "God, get me out of here" way.

We then see poor, unattractive Tiana Weaver from Apple Valley, California. She tells us that she came to the first casting call and didn't make it. She was upset, but is there again to try. She says that her measurements are 24-35-36. None of which is true. Kodi asks Tiana if she's sure that it's 36. He then interviews that he can't really wrap his mind about the level of delusion sometimes. In all fairness, he could actually be talking about Janice and that clip could be out of context. He whips out the tape measure and informs Tiana that she's actually 39 around the hips. She acts surprised. She says that she's not as upset as the last open call, and that we'll see her again. She says that Janice will know her face, because much like a really persistent case of crabs, she'll keep coming back.

Next there is a guy with gold teeth. Janice compliments him on his grille. Gabe says that open calls are such long days, because you have to look at one messy, disgusting human being after another. He adds that they're not even close to being a model. Janice asks one guy if he's the Unabomber. One guy is way too short, and Janice tells him so. He says that he knows, and Janice asks why he's there. Gabe notes that there are mirrors in the holding area where they keep all the "cattle," and that sometimes you have to look yourself in the mirror and ask why you're there. Kodi says to Janice that he wonders if they should be more explicit about their requirements. Janice says, "Let me tell you something, Junior. It's equal opportunity. Yes, I understand it's a waste of time, but I'm giving them the courtesy of standing in line all day. That's just the way it is." Letting them stand in line all day is courteous? Puzzle over that as we head to commercials.

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

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