The gayest show on TV gets even gayer when Janice holds court as the Queen Grand Marshal of the Palm Springs White Party, which is apparently Mecca for the underwear-clad homo set. She has the pleasure of introducing '80s singing sensation Tiffany before wading into a huge fountain and "falling," ("falling" followed up by dunking, swimming, flopping, and laying about in fountainous water, that is). Could've been so beautiful, could've been so right. Janice thus ruins a borrowed couture dress from designer Kai Milla that was going to be reproduced for her fall collection. You know who is not happy about this? Kai Milla, who was set to outfit three female JD Models for the agency's pink carpet ribbon-cutting ceremony. And yes, "ribbon-cutting ceremony" is code for "Sorin's circumcision." On the morning of the event, the dresses do not come, and with Janice nowhere to be found, Peter is left to smooth things over with the designer, who is outraged at Janice's unprofessional behavior. To which I say, do a little research, man. But in the end, the dresses come, and Janice gets to say how great she is to the media and guests. Also: more naked man butts.
Previously: Lots and lots of men in underwear, butt cracks, and packages. I know this makes it hard to distinguish which episode we're talking about, so I'll add this detail: Sorin weeps. This week: more men in underwear. I love this show.
The credits make me think that they should remake Valley Of The Dolls with Janice playing every character. You know you'd go see it.
We are in L.A. Janice Windexes the glass doors that lead out to her balcony as she gets her hair done. Must be something to do with the fumes. She voices over that in a few days they're going to have the ribbon cutting ceremony for the agency, and that she will have the honor of two designers fitting her models for the event: Kai Milla will outfit the women, and Elmer Ave will do the men. Better than Sienna Miller and Elmer Fudd, I suppose. Janice says that her models will get the experience of being booked by a legitimate client. At this, Lily Holt pauses her Tivo and says, "Hey!" Janice adds that in addition she needs to hire bookers to get her models working so they can make a living. And the first time she said that I could have sworn she said "hookers" instead of "bookers," which probably would have been more lucrative for the models. Gabe tells us that Janice is wearing leather and lace today. And I just pictured Stevie Nicks twirling through Janice's apartment for no apparent reason. It would be awesome if Stevie and Janice were best friends. They could hang out and brush each other's hair and watch romantic comedies and prank call Lindsay Buckingham and Sylvester Stallone and then put evil spells on them. But I digress. Gabe says that Janice's outfit is designed by Kai Milla, and that it would be rude to go see her and be wearing another designer. As it happens, Kai Milla will soon consider Janice not wearing her clothes to be a blessing.
At a wardrobe fitting at Kai Milla Design Offices, Janice pulls Peter Pork aside and tells him that Kai Milla is a hugely important client for them. She interviews that Kai Milla is a designer of couture, and that her husband just happens to be Stevie Wonder. She whispers "Stevie Wonder" in a way that suggests she knows just how well ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony. She was jammin' on the one, just like Theo Huxtable. Janice's models linger in the hallway. Janice tells them that they should all look like couture models. This entails putting their hair back, taking off excessive eye makeup, taking off the wonderbras, and spitting out their gum. Janice admits that she was nervous going into Kai Milla, because she didn't know if her girls could deliver. Her girls do suck a little overall, I have to say. Janice gives them parting advice to go in there, suck in their stomachs, be chic, and do the best they can.