It's boy week! 2(x)ist, an underwear line, wants to cast some hunky boys to promote their new collection in New York. You know what this means...Christmas comes early in the form of lots of butts and packages wrapped up in tighty-whiteys! Beefcake Sorin is not chosen due to his limited English and/or speaking skills and is all torn up about it. He sheds many a tear, and Janice consoles him by telling tales of her own failures, not including the time that she was fired from Top Model. Meanwhile, Nathan thinks that his mom dresses like a whore, and tells her so. And he might kind of have a point. I'm just saying. To divert attention from the matter, Janice tells him to make a choice between school and the agency, and he picks the agency. However, this doesn't matter, because Janice picks "school." The hunky underwear boys head off to New York, and we learn that hunky underwear model T.J. is a nanny when he's not modeling, and perhaps has designs to one day marry Mr. Sheffield. In New York, the boys learn that they will be bridging the gap between the seemingly divergent words of underwear and fine art as they mingle with guests. Basically, they are glorified go-go boys minus the dancing talent. They do a good job, and the super-gay underwear exec is pleased with them. Nathan does a quick clean up job on the house before Janice comes home, their reunion seems to go fine, and all is well in Janice-land -- until she gets loaded and fucks up royally next week. Hooray!
Previously: Janice held the largest open call to date, then fought with Peter Pork over a tarty-looking blonde. He won the battle, and they accepted said tart into the agency -- which was a pretty good call considering that she was one of four female models selected for the agency's first job with shoe designer Lily Holt. Coming up: Hijinx, and lots and lots of naked boy butt. Tally ho!
Janice is doing her own thing in the credits, which make me hot just looking at them. Not hot because I want some plasticized 51-year old booty, but rather because it's 90 degrees outside and even looking at a bag of frozen peas makes me hot.
Janice begins by telling us that her agency is starting to make revenue, and they've already had one extremely satisfied customer in Miss Lily Holt, shoe designer extraordinaire. Peter says to Janice that this is a big day, and she says that she needs a big coffee. Turns out, underwear line 2(x)ist -- stupidest name for anything ever, but I digress -- wants to book some of the agency's male models and fly them out to New York City for an event. Ahhh, New York City! Where real models go to be models! Amanda and Jason from 2(x)ist arrive. He looks like he traveled there by Pride Float. She looks like an American Girl Doll. It's all very interesting. Jason is the Design Director, and says that the male models will be cast to promote the collection at an event. He is introduced to Gabe and Duke, who are instantly furious at being out-gayed. Janice thanks Jason and Amanda for choosing their agency and helping them to get off the ground. Jason says that they need Janice's help, because they need models. Janice says, "Oh we HAVE models, honey." Janice interviews that if she can pull this off and rock the Big Apple, it will lead to many, many more clients.
A bunch of male models file in, put on some tighty whiteys, and take off everything else. Janice tells us that this is the first audition for the boys. And seriously, sweet Jesus. I feel like this whole episode has been orchestrated by my mom and will have flashing captions throughout that say, "Still a lesbian? Still a lesbian?" We see one naked butt crack, and one pixilated schlong. T.J. Wilk, a hunky boy from Cleveland, Ohio -- who knows how to wear a pair of boxer briefs -- tells us that being in a room half-naked with a lot of guys who have better bodies than you can make a person self-conscious. Perhaps, but it also affords us maximum viewing pleasure at home. The models suffer for our gain.