Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
NYC

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The Big Crapple

We get a little slow-mo shot of Sorin blinking sadly. Soon, he is sitting on the floor and looking maudlin. Jason notes that Sorin wasn't very approachable, and the job is unfortunately one where he'll need to interact and speak and not seem like a better-appointed Frankenstein. Sorin sits in front of a wall which also has some sort of feather-looking shadow on it, and for a minute I think that he's trying to cheer himself up by making shadow puppets. "Fly little birdie, fly, back to Romania where people appreciate your God-like physique." Before you can say, "Big girls don't cry," Sorin is full-on crying. He says that he just missed an opportunity for a job that seemed to be perfect for him. Well, he has a point there, I guess. He could have met some people, made some connections, and made money. Instead, he's crying in public. Sorin says that this was an easy job and he didn't do well, so what's going to happen next time, when it's harder? Sorin says something about his language, and then is crying so much that he can't even talk.

Cut back to Janice's office, where she is talking to Sorin. She has a scary huge bony hand, which I think would make Sorin cry even harder, but which he seems to find somewhat comforting. Janice says she thinks that Sorin has the best body there, but that doesn't mean it's the best body for 2(x)ist's purposes. Janice says that when she was eighteen, no one hired her for a year and a half. She had to eat, sleep, and shit homelessness. I hear that homelessness tastes like cardboard box. Peter says that the business is 99% rejection, and Sorin has to get used to it. Janice says to trust her, that she's going to work for Sorin and get him a billboard in Times Square that will make 2(x)ist eat their words. Janice tells Sorin to get some fresh air and walk it off, but not in a bar. Is Sorin secretly an alcoholic? Is that why he cries so much? As soon as he leaves, Janice rolls her eyes. Janice tells us that everyone has to learn how to take rejection, including "little Sorin." She thinks that Sorin needs to snap out of it. Oooh, that just made me want to watch Moonstruck. Then again, everything makes me want to watch Moonstruck.

Meanwhile, Janice is at home and is "packing for New York" in a red whore-dress. Granted, sometimes I pack in my underwear, but never in a red off the shoulder mini with my tits hanging out. And certainly not in the middle of the day. Janice says hi to Nathan, whose immediate response is, "What are you wearing?" Janice flops down on the couch and starts to tell Nathan about her day. Nathan says, "Ugh." Janice asks, "What is 'ugh?'" and Nathan says, "That's gross." Janice asks what's gross, and Nathan tells her to go put something on. And you can give Nathan as much flak as you want to, but I have to say that if my mom showed up in that dress, I'd probably have pretty much the same reaction. Janice tells Nathan that he's not her dad; she's the parent. And this is yet another perfect time for Nathan to reply with, "And I have the therapy bills to prove it!" Nathan tells us that he was getting ready for the New York trip, when Janice showed up in an outfit that was pretty inappropriate for a mom. And really, I'm not saying that she doesn't look fierce, but Nathan has kind of a point.

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

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