Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
NYC

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The Big Crapple

And just when you think the tales of T.J. are over, they're not. T.J. swings with the kids. He tells us that the girls live in the main house, and he lives in the pool house. Janice has hired Kato Kaelin. The girls put makeup on T.J. One of them asks how it makes him feel, and he says, "Like a clown." Well, better than, "Like the fabulous, true me, for the very first time!" The girls play doctor with T.J. Not like that, you sickos. He says that being a nanny helps him out with modeling, because you have to be animated, spontaneous, and have characters. Including the character of "Manny living in the poolhouse and fucking the mom who probably is vaguely reminiscent of Janice."

When we are finally through with the annals of T.J., we are in New York City. It is the day of the 2(x)ist event. You know, at my workplace, they are starting to call the boring staff meetings where they tell us about staff that we don't really care about "Learning Events." Perhaps I will propose that they bring in underwear-clad models to mingle with us as a way of raising staff morale. Janice is excited to be back in New York, and says that they are going to take the world by storm. She jumps out of a cab and is wearing a leopard-print head scarf, which means that you have to drink a shot. Janice is going to the 2(x)ist office to help set up the event. Janice shakes hands with the receptionist, then sees T.J., John, and Paul in the waiting room. Nice job, guys! They all meet with Jason. He tells us that tonight's event is a gallery exhibition. It's a "more higher end" event, and they are "bridging the gap between an underwear brand and fine art." Two worlds that needed to be merged, those. The boys try on some underwear. Janice asks Jason to give the boys some dialogue. Jason tells them to mingle, and to ask people if they want to "feel the fabric." You know what Jason wants to do? Feel the fabric. Jason tells us that he expects the models to look relaxed, mingle, and talk about the product. Janice tells the boys tonight that if they don't work, she'll chop their heads off. Well, given the wardrobe selections, she'll have plenty of opportunity to chop something off. Jason says that he's more worried about Janice behaving herself. Janice just shrugs her shoulders. Jason tells us that he loves Janice, but also knows that she's prone to making a spectacle, so he's going to keep her close to his side. But he's not going to feel her fabric.

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, Nathan uses a waffle bat to knock a silver ball into some sort of cup. NATHAN GONE WILD, EVERYONE!!!!!

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

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