Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

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Potes: B | 581 USERS: C+
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Suddenly, it is time for the model auditions at the Ed Hardy Store. Janice is wearing a skirt suit that makes her look like a giant black and white bird wrapped in tattered trash bags. Janice tells us that her models must impress Christian, and that she's always telling them to be prepared for any audition. The female models kind of stand around. Chrisanne tells us that this is a very exciting call for Ed Hardy, who designs vintage tattoo wear, and that she believes they're doing a runway audition and will potentially be featured in a film. So Chrisanne knows what's what. Cut to Stina, who says that she doesn't know what's going on now, and in fact never knows what's really going on. Cut to Sarah, who says that she has no clue what's going on. Stina asks the makeup artist why she's never informed about anything. The makeup artist says that everyone else asked. Oh, snap. But for real, just Google "Ed Hardy." Cut to Paul, Billy, and Chris Jones standing outside. Chris says that he wishes they had been told how to dress, because he now realizes that this is "kind of a punky thing." Paul says, "It's all about attitude, bro. Own it." That was so gay despite, or perhaps because of, the use of the word "bro."

Finally, it is time for the auditions. The models will indeed walk in sets of three down a little makeshift runway -- a.k.a. the center of a room -- for Christian and Janice. Sarah goes first, followed by someone named Trisha who I don't remember, and then Grayce. Janice tells Grayce to pull her skirt all the way up to her crotch so that they can see some legs. She does, so we get the obligatory zoom-in-on-the-crotch shot. Janice says that she's embarrassed because the models came in wearing conservative summer dresses, and with a little research they would have known that the Ed Hardy line is sexy, cutting-edge, and hip. When it's Stina's turn, Janice hikes Stina's long, white, flowy dress up for her. Janice is exhausted telling the models how to present themselves. She says that the girls are slovenly with the way their legs look, they don't know how to walk, and they're standing with slovenly attitudes. Janice, who is now decked out in full Ed Hardy regalia including the awful dreaded hat, says that she's ready to drop half the females. "Half the females" being code for "acid."

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

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