It is the morning of callbacks. The models are called in, and Janice says, "Hi monkeys!" Michelle is first in line and gets another close up as Peter talks to the models. He tells them that a fortunate few will be chosen to be with the agency. There are two huge-afroed lady twins. Janice tells the models that she's behind all of them, and that she wants them to make it the best possible day for the agency. She tells Ethan and Gabe to go next door and destroy. Gabe tells us that he can look at any human being and see five fast ways to improve them. That's a handy skill. He says that his ways of improving someone's look have to do with "giving them a package." "I'm all about the package," he continues. He then says, "And that's the aesthetic that Janice and I agree on." Oh, you don't have to tell us that.
Peter goes to see Fargo, whose name is actually Jenny Gilbertson. She's wearing a bikini and has her hair done and actually looks better, or perhaps her huge fake breasts are just clouding my vision. Peter says that he went to bat for her like she wouldn't believe against Janice and the gay mafia. He says that they don't understand her beauty, but Peter does, and he thinks that America will, too. Okay, I'm sorry, but no one watching this particular show is going to understand. It's Oxygen, and we're all Janice hags. Peter asks Fargo whether she is going to rock it. She slaps his hand and says that she will. Claudia tells us that she's ready to change into her bathing suit, but since she is a special girl with special needs she gets her own private bathroom. Claudia is sporting one of those revealing one-piece cutout bathing suits that only transsexuals or Victoria's Secret models would wear. Ugly. Claudia says that since she hasn't had her full surgery yet, she doesn't want to freak anyone out or anything. Some guys are looking at Claudia and are clearly not freaked out. Hot. A few people get spray tanned.
All of the black people pose together. I am being serious. A cute girl in a thong poses by herself. Someone else has trouble with her bikini bottoms. Fargo poses, and Peter says that they'll get offers from Playboy, Maxim, FHM. Janice asks whether it's working for Peter, and Peter says that it is, and to keep going. Janice still does not want any cheap-looking tacky ass models in her agency, which she wants to be "the Paris of America." Janice tells Fargo that they need to put something over her hair, because it's too blonde. She says that Fargo looks beautiful, but the blonde is bad. And she's too short. Janice interviews that she and Peter are having a difference of opinion, primarily because she thinks with what's left of her brain and he thinks with his...well, live rabbit, I guess. Janice looks at Fargo and again says that she doesn't get it. I'm with Janice. Fargo has a really flat stomach/tiny waist and childbearing hips. She freaks me out. Peter keeps talking about Maxim, and makes the point that those kinds of magazines trump sales of fashion magazines. I don't know if this is some subliminal technique to make me go subscribe to Vogue right now, but it's working. Peter yells that he loves Fargo, and that she's so hot that the power went out. She giggles. Peter says that Fargo is what the clients want, so that's what they'll have to do. He actually uses the verb "to do." Draw your own conclusions.













Comments