Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
The First Job

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Recruitment director Ethan comes at the end of the day and says that they saw a total of 926 people, and that the place was packed. Janice is wearing her third outfit of the "day." She says that this open call has had the biggest turnout so far. It also turned out ANTM Season 5 Ebony (of "don't get it twisted" fame), who apparently was waiting in the casting line, but I couldn't find her. Janice doesn't know what the end result will be, but is happy about the choices that she made. That she made, you'll note. Commercials. Except there are no actual commercials! WTF?

It is the morning of callbacks. The models are called in, and Janice says, "Hi monkeys!" Michelle is first in line and gets another close up as Peter talks to the models. He tells them that a fortunate few will be chosen to be with the agency. There are two huge-afroed lady twins. Janice tells the models that she's behind all of them, and that she wants them to make it the best possible day for the agency. She tells Ethan and Gabe to go next door and destroy. Gabe tells us that he can look at any human being and see five fast ways to improve them. That's a handy skill. He says that his ways of improving someone's look have to do with "giving them a package." "I'm all about the package," he continues. He then says, "And that's the aesthetic that Janice and I agree on." Oh, you don't have to tell us that.

Peter goes to see Fargo, whose name is actually Jenny Gilbertson. She's wearing a bikini and has her hair done and actually looks better, or perhaps her huge fake breasts are just clouding my vision. Peter says that he went to bat for her like she wouldn't believe against Janice and the gay mafia. He says that they don't understand her beauty, but Peter does, and he thinks that America will, too. Okay, I'm sorry, but no one watching this particular show is going to understand. It's Oxygen, and we're all Janice hags. Peter asks Fargo whether she is going to rock it. She slaps his hand and says that she will. Claudia tells us that she's ready to change into her bathing suit, but since she is a special girl with special needs she gets her own private bathroom. Claudia is sporting one of those revealing one-piece cutout bathing suits that only transsexuals or Victoria's Secret models would wear. Ugly. Claudia says that since she hasn't had her full surgery yet, she doesn't want to freak anyone out or anything. Some guys are looking at Claudia and are clearly not freaked out. Hot. A few people get spray tanned.

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Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

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