Janice's models audition for roles in a television commercial for a hack dentist referral service, but not before Janice bitches them out for being so unkempt and slovenly. Several models are cast, including that cutie who got the mohawk last week. Yum. While the models prepare for the big gig, Janice, Gabe, Duke, and Peter Pork head off to Las Vegas to participate in a big model search. Janice wakes up with a scratched cornea, causing her to miss most of the open audition while she seeks treatment at the emergency room. Said treatment consists of an eyepatch, which Janice works. When she rejoins Peter and her boys (mysteriously joined by Nathan) at the model search, Peter chastises her for not letting him know where the hell she was. The next day, Peter arrives late for the callbacks -- either to teach Janice a lesson or because he was too busy snorting blow off hookers' asses and lost track of the time, we'll never know. Janice pitches a fit and only calms down when she discovers a fresh-faced ingenue (who comes with a showgirl mother) at the callbacks. Meanwhile, there is fake tension at the television shoot, where two of the boy models have missed their call time. Despite the fact that the director threatens to fire them, they arrive in time and the shoot goes off without a hitch. Much like Janice's undergarments.
Previously: Janice. Coke-a-plenty. Couture. A fountain. You do the math.
Many thanks to the estimable LTG, who covered the JDMA recaplet while I was basking in the sun in Provincetown, Massachusetts. If you've ever been to Provincetown, you'll know that it was like I was living inside of an episode of JDMA, so I don't feel too out of the action.
We get right into the action as Peter, with Kodi in tow, tells a bunch of models that today is all about teeth and that they're pre-screening. Janice voices over that 1-800-DENTIST wants to cast a national commercial using the agency, and she's psyched. She's also a little nervous, since none of her models have received acting training and might actually suck. To drive home this point, we see models practicing, and they suck. One is poor black Marcus, whose reading partner tells him that he did a good job, even though if Janice saw him she would just get up in his face and yell, "Drawers!" over and over.
Janice, who is wearing that loudish blue shirt and black pant combination that she loves so much, welcomes Fred Joyal, the founder and CEO of 1-800-DENITST. Fred tells us that he also directs the commercials and is often in them. Come to mention it, he does look kind of familiar. Next we meet Kim, who is the 1-800-DENTIST casting director and has taken advantage of their 40% employee discount on gigantic veneers. Kim helpfully tells us that 1-800-DENTIST is a dentist referral service. I'll wait while you pick up your phone and find a dentist near you, and then chastise you for being too lazy to pick up the fucking Yellow Pages. Kim and Fred are introduced to Kodi. Hi Kodi! So cute.
Fred says that they have two different kinds of spots. One is a beauty shot to talk about a certain kind of veneers that they are promoting, and the other is a speaking part that will be featured calling 1-800-DENTIST in a split-screen ad. Fred says that they will need two or three models of each gender. Janice interviews that it's extremely important that she be able to articulate to the models what is expected of them from a client. We then cut to Janice outside talking to the models, who are all in a straight line. Janice tells them that they need to smile, because this commercial is all about teeth. She smiles as she does this as a manner of demonstration. Janice says that it's all about radiating, smiling, and having "that Janice thing." Not that she thinks she's the best or anything like that.