RICHMOND

Gwen: "Your poor black kid video is doing viral gangbusters!"
Darren: "We are so knowledgeable about the internet. We grownups."
Gwen: "It was just a random person that filmed it and edited it and put it on fake Youtube and made it go viral!"
Darren: "That's so cool that random people are doing your job for you. It makes me believe in myself! Hey, why did you bring the Mayor here last night?"
Gwen: "Oh, he raped me this one time when I was in middle school."
Darren: "What? That is fucking fucked up!"
Gwen: "Wait, I mean he just kissed me. Not as big a deal."
Darren: "Then I will hold your hand."
Gwen: "I'll take any storyline I can get. Even one that goes on for an entire month and ends up being about a guy kissing me this one time."

LARSEN

Stan: "I got you a dog! And a whore aunt, she moved back in too. But a dog!"
Denny: "He has one eye!"
Terry: "He's a pirate dog!"
Tommy: "I am going to cut him open and paint my body with his blood the second your back is turned. In this way I shall be transformed. My true and terrible nature will reveal itself, and I will become an earthbound God, who sees beyond Time and Space and into the infinite abyss. Your souls will be my playthings."
Dog: "That makes me pee. I hate my scary new home."
Larsens: "Pee! Is funny!"
Tommy: "All will burn. This is my decree."

HOSPITAL

Linden: "I am high as a motherfucking kite. Mental health is the pits!"

She sees a tray of food and, having never eaten anything before, digs the hell in. Doctor Lady shows up at her door, smiling, and they decide to try it again.

Linden: "Surprise! I like talking about the extremely gross details of the murder. I can do this all day. The guy chased Rosie through the woods for hours, beat her with serious hate, but she was alive when the car went in the water. He didn't want to see her eyes."
Doctor: "What's this got to do with Adrian?"
Linden: "I am actually fairly mysterious to myself, Doctor."
Doctor: "No, what's the deal with these two murders."
Linden: "The assumption with the first murder was that the dad did it, and we put him away. But I don't think that's likely because the killer left through the window, which is not what my profiler powers tell me about the dad."
Doctor: "Wait. So you're telling me you're personally involved with a whole other Killing? Which you solved -- in the season finale, so to speak -- but then it turned out you didn't actually solve that one either?"
Linden: "This show is nothing if not consistent, Doc."