Caleb Nichol: "I hope you're here to apologize for that time I taunted you about whoring you out as a child, causing you to leave a high-powered K Street job after about one minute."
Gwen: "I am here on a related matter, actually. I need a federal warrant for a crazy homeless person that is not even a cop or anything. If you don't give it to me, I will write a tell-all about this one time a person kissed me."
Charles Widmore: "I don't know if you know this, but like everybody else on this whole planet I am scared to shit of Chief Nicole Jackson. That bitch don't play."
Gwen: "Neither does this one, asshole."
This whole scene is delivered by Gwen in a bizarrely staccato rhythm. Not sure where to place that factoid, but it's super weird.
Jack: "Thanks for calling me back after I called you a million times."
Linden: "Progeny, I was doped up in the vast white space of my own internal static."
Jack: "Okay, bye."
Holder: "Tell him hi!"
Linden: "Whatever. Did you get the federal warrant."
Holder: "Yeah, buddy."
Linden: "For the record, this is what my face looks like when I am legitimately happy."
The Feds! Move out! I am also legitimately happy!
Roberta: "We going to do this again? String you up or commit you, I mean."
Holder: "No! It is going to be much awesomer."
Gwen & Jamie: "The Youth Vote! Bring them spelt muffins and Birkenstocks because it is 1997 sometimes! Dave Matthews Band also! Kucinich!"
HQ: "We are so good at this!"
Enter the Mayor and his whole face situation he's got going on.
Mayor: "Don't get up. Heh."
Darren: "Good one. That was a good burn, Lesley."
Mayor: "Anyway, I just found out where you were the night I faked you killed that girl, and it is delicious."
Darren: "You are the worst!"
Mayor: "Don't make me kiss you in the kitchen."
Darren: "Then I guess we are playing hardball, Lesley. I will ball you so hard."
Jamie: "...Diiiiid somebody call my name?"
It's a draw, I think. They both have business to do on each other's lives, and they are both kind of right that it will work, I guess, except Darren barely ever does anything wrong -- not even with Jamie and Gwen trying their hardest to be evil and constantly failing to be evil -- while the Mayor can't so much as knock over a flowerpot without it killing civil rights or due process or somebody's dad somewhere.