Bullet notices that turquoise ring in Kallie's porn video, meaning that it is from the night she disappeared. (Seems like she had one of those Rosie Larsen kind of nights where you go everywhere and do everything, and then die.) The cops raid that motel Grace Zabriskie owns, and it turns out that the pornos are being made in a secret room behind a fake Scooby Doo wall in the motel. They haul Grace Zabriskie in for questioning, but she is batshit insane like always and really unhelpful. (Also unhelpful: Goldie the Limping Pimping Molester, who gives an impromptu press conference about how he is not Killing girls, just rapin' 'em and distributin' porn of 'em and trying to be a literal pimp of 'em.)
A vice cop sends Linden to another of the porno girls, who has since grown out of The Life and now has two hobbies, being pregnant all the time and smoking cigarettes all the time. She helps them figure out -- which over the course of the episode has become blatantly obvious -- that the porn maker is Joe Mills, the taxicab driver. And if you were guessing that he is also Kallie's mom's boyfriend, you were correct about that too. Bonus! Not for Kallie certainly, but bonus nonetheless. Bonus also for Jacob, because I love beautiful Joe Mills and I love how he gives his child hookers French fries and I love how everything horrible goes back to Joe Mills, except for the Killing of course.
Imagine that! If they solved the mystery in episode five, like the opposite of the first season. "Yeah, we did some investigative work and were deliberate in tracking down our leads, and then found incontrovertible proof that it was the person we thought it was. No red herrings or cases of mistaken identity, just good old-fashioned police work." And then all you bastards would be like, "That's not how a show is supposed to be!" and Veena Sud would say, like, "Make up your minds, you guys!"
So yes, kiddie porn and bad stepdads and murders, all of that is soul-killingly bleak -- have you seen this show before? -- but it's nothing compared to Twitch's day: His probation officer forces him into buggery, which sends him to the needle, which sends him to some punk-rock dystopia that looks like The Warriors, which sends his face into permanent fucked-upness. Which would be merely hilarious because Twitch is terrible, but then you remember that he was going to ride his face to the bigtime, and then that just makes it even funnier. Twitch and Lyric are the worst.
Holder continues to fall deeply in love with Bullet, and vice versa, but the real love triangle is Holder's partners, new and old. Man that Gregg Henry does not care for Linden. They get into a whole fight that is just basically them screaming "I love Holder more than you do!" over and over and it's delightful. Oh, and also in Holder's relationships, Jewel Staite is an ADA. You know what I bet is going to happen? I bet she's going to be intrigued but then eventually appalled by Linden's unconventional approach to solving crimes. That would be my guess.
What else? Ray Seward and his bullshit, more of the same of that. He is forming a strange bond with that man who never shuts up, and mean ol' Becker does not like that one bit, because he hates happiness. He is also obsessed with making Ray take antibiotics -- which I personally think are probably poison or broken glass pills or something, you know, like how they have those pills that are just broken glass? -- and then beat up the babbling man and he takes the pills because compassion is Ray Seward's weakness or something. Oh, and Becker's MILFy/crazy wife wants to bone Aaron Douglas, because she has good taste in dudes. So that'll be grimy and sleazy, just like everything else in this entire world.
Next Week: After the broadcast premiere of Black Swan on AMC probably you are going to want something to pick your spirits up and make you feel less crazy, but instead, AMC will be airing an all-new episode of The Killing in which the few characters who have henceforth avoided getting raped will probably get raped and everybody will smoke cigarettes the entire time and that's why Seattle is so foggy, and so very full of sex crimes.
Twitch's probation officer was a good dude who wanted him to think hard about his choices, or so it seemed. Kallie's mom's boyfriend was the proud driver of a truck, or so it seemed. Lyric's last john was the kind of dude who cared about the welfare of his underage hookers, or so it seemed. Grace Zabriskie was her normal kind of crazy and not the kind that has secret rooms and hidden panels for kiddie-porn making, or so it seemed. Goldie came off like a real piece of garbage rapist, but that part is true.
Kallie's unable to answer when the Mysterious Voice asks her whether she is a virgin, I guess because what a thing to ask a hooker. It's just mean, really. But then you realize he is on some next-level shit when he goes, Why are you crying, little girl? Ugh. Please just don't be Joe Mills. Don't let beautiful Joe Mills be one more thing Seattle takes away, along with sunshine.
Holder: "So in addition to all the other horrific things that are always happening to you, do you know who this porn man is?"
Bullet: "I do not. I have heard that sometimes we are offered the chance to do these things, but not Kallie. She would never make a porn tape -- just have sex for money in the moment, you understand."
Holder: "And yet clearly you see before you, Kallie here on this..."
Bullet: "Do you know that old motel? Of the crazy old bitch?"
Holder: "Ah, yes. I am aware of this place. This is where the movies are made?"
So while they're perseverating on this Voice of the porn man, how maybe or what if it is Goldie -- which it isn't, but nobody knows that's impossible quite yet -- Bullet notices that the ring she stole for Lyric, and then gave to Kallie, is in the video, which means this video was made after Bullet realized she was missing, which was three days ago. It was the last thing that happened, actually, if you recall. So apparently that is enough for a search warrant of the Crazy Old Bitch Motel. And then this, amazingly, happens, so fast you might miss it:
Bullet: "You think she's at Mama Dips'?"
Holder: "You go home, Bullet."
What a thing to say. "Oh right, you have no home. Because you are homeless. It is your main thing." He recovers quickly, makes it about their burgeoning affection, he's like, "Just wait here exactly for me, and I promise that I will come back specifically to you."