Usually I recap this show live because it's funnier that way, easier to keep from getting lost in the tangle of references and extrapolations, stick to the authentic response. But sometimes, it's because it would be unimaginable to survive it twice. And you never know which, until it's already happening. Until it descends.
Ray Seward's body is covered in scars, a palimpsest of violence so crowded it shouldn't let any light in. Stephen Holder's chest reads serenity, the thing his life is tasked with finding; the thing he'll never reach. Rachel Bullet Olmstead inscribed faith upon herself, every morning upon rising. The thing there's never enough of. On every cell and molecule of Sarah Linden's body, if you could look close enough, you'd see a single word.
Stephen sits down, back against his door in the dark. Ray looks out into nothingness. Sarah drives, straight to the jail.
With minutes to spare, Sarah tries to get Ray to identify some evidence. She pops Holder back into action, somehow, and gets another round of testimony out of Adrian. Hopefully it will not be quite so painful, next week. And then, of course, comes the finale.
I hope that you are well, tonight, or whenever this finds you. I hope that your loved ones bring you comfort; I hope for light to keep the shadows out. We come to the dark and the monsters looking for a story that will help us make sense -- of loss, of the eternal puzzle of absence, of the holy Mystery of Orpheus -- and I suppose the story gives us that. It takes so little honesty to irrigate our wounds, and heal.
It is better to put our monsters outside -- trapped in a story, on a screen -- than to leave them in the dark. It is better, I think, and stronger, to mourn for a girl like Bullet -- the strongest person in the world, girl and boy and man; somebody who can teach you faith, and anger -- than to stand unprepared for such a loss out here, in the dark, when it comes for us. Which it will.
There is no practicing for grief, but perhaps this is the next-best thing.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Killing, Pretty Little Liars, Ray Donovan, Mistresses, and True Blood for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as a regular column for Tor.com, Geek Love.