Bobby decides to throw one last barbecue before he hands Southfork over to the fake conservancy. Things are moving along pretty quickly, with Bobby and Ann already packing up things for their new condo. You know what else is moving at breakneck pace? Marta's love for John Ross. Suddenly she's acting like they're omigodsoulmates4eva! even though John Ross can barely stand to be in the same room with her. Also, everybody keeps calling her Marta even after they find out her real name. J.R. hires a guy named Bum (I love you, Texas) to dig up some dirt on her. Turns out she has a history of stalking her boyfriends. Bum snaps some pictures of John Ross getting cozy with Elena, which J.R. uses to send Marta into a jealous rage. She and J.R. make a new deal that cuts John Ross completely out of Southfork.
Meanwhile, John Ross is oblivious to the extent of his daddy's scheme and keeps working in both their interests. To blackmail Mitch Lobell's son, he blackmails Rebecca into seducing the poor sap. He wants pictures of Lobell doing drugs or he'll tell Christopher about that damnable email. At first she agrees, but has a change of heart when her intended victim turns out to be a decent guy. Well, sort of decent, anyway. When John Ross tells Marta about the failed plan, she happily volunteers to get the job done – and succeeds. Once she finds out John Ross has been lying to her about their Epic Love, she hands the incriminating photos to J.R., who uses them to get Mitch Lobell off his back.
Somewhere along the way, Bobby and Christopher help a cow give birth. She dies in the process, providing a strained metaphor about adoption and love triangles. Christopher decides to end things with Elena for good by being kind of a jerk to her. He recommits himself (again) to his wife, who starts to confess to him about the whole email thing just as the episode ends. Stay tuned for the full weecap.
Previously on Dallas: Bobby sold Southfork to a fake conservancy. Mitch Lobell, the family lawyer, helped J.R. and John Ross with the fakery, but at a price. The young'uns were all in a tizzy over the mysterious email that put a halt to Christopher and Elena's marriage plans. Cliff Barnes brought his brand of brimstone and crazy back to town. John Ross had a fling with a woman who isn't really Marta Del Sol. Christopher and Elena got cozy. Rebecca found out, but decided she loves Christopher anyway.
Christopher dreams about hopping into the sack with Elena, then wakes with a start next to his wife. They must be late sleepers, because John Ross and J.R. are already halfway through their tenth scheme of the day. John Ross gets a call from Marta (she's still in his phone as Marta Del Sol for some reason) and ignores it. He and his daddy talk about how to get Mitch Lobell off their backs. They decide to set up Lobell's son for a felony drug possession, which would be his third and a doozy under the "three strikes" law. Knowing Lobell's weakness for the ladies, J.R. suggests they get Marta to help out, but John Ross says she's getting too clingy. Asking her to help set someone up on drug charges would practically be like asking her to marry him. John Ross decides to call Rebecca instead. Even though this is just moments since the last time we saw Rebecca, she's wearing totally different lingerie and sitting in a totally different bed in a totally different bedroom. John Ross says he wants to meet up with her to discuss the mystery email. Maybe they can also figure out the weird lack of bedroom continuity. Cue the opening credits.
J.R. meets up with an investigator named Bum who tells him that Marta's real name is Veronica Martinez. This is of little importance, since everybody keeps calling her Marta. She also suffers from bipolar disorder and has been arrested twice for stalking ex-boyfriends, one of whom she went after with a skinning knife. J.R. is delighted and sends Bum off on his next assignment.
Southfork. Everybody's packing up the place ahead of the sale and getting ready for a goodbye barbecue. Tommy helps out by lifting a few boxes and kissing some ass. Christopher and Elena talk business over breakfast and carefully time their awkward canoodling to coincide with Rebecca's entrance. She looks slightly aghast, but recovers quickly and heads off to her secret meeting with John Ross. Meanwhile, Bobby's being kind of a baby about not helping Ann with packing up his family's belongings. Yeah, it's painful, but whatever. He's the one who decided to sell.