Lone Gunmen
Diagnosis: Jimmy

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C+ | Grade It Now!
Grin and Bear It. (Sorry.)

Somewhere in the Cascade Mountains, the LGs are parked in their van, spying on the Urinator. The van thermometer says it's, like, ten degrees, and Langly is still overacting...I mean, "shivering a lot." Frohike says that the Urinator is "so paranoid he makes us look normal." Apparently, he isn't wired at all, generates his own electricity, and has lots of Spam around. That, and the urine thing. When they see the Urinator sling a bearskin over a line outside his cabin, Byers growls, "Somebody ought to shoot and skin him!" Hello? The other LGs are like, what's wrong? Why are you taking this so personally? But we'll find that out in the last fifteen minutes, I'm sure. Byers hopes that Jimmy is trying to remember something. Yeah, right.

Jimmy's watching TV -- specifically, Fox's America's Most Wanted. Can I just say that I grew up in New York City, and in the late 1970s, a child was abducted and his parents didn't just let the police look for him. This was before the photos-on-milk-cartons thing, and before John Walsh was a TV personality. He was a dad whose son was taken from him. So, make fun of the show all you want, but it came from something real. In this context, of course, it's just to be lampooned, so I'll stop the serious shit now. So, Jimmy's chowing down on a huge bowl of Jell-O, and John Walsh tells him about a doctor who supposedly killed four of his patients. The Hot Nurse wheels in another patient; Jimmy has a roommate now. The channel changes to Fox News. Jimmy changes it back to the death doctor thing. Looking all sexy behind the curtain, Nurse Hornball tells Jimmy's neighbor -- who I think is The Man from Chico and The Man -- not to be a TV hog, and he yells back that he pays enough; why can't he have a private room? He's old and crotchety, okay. Nurse Hornball comes around and asks Jimmy to put up with the grouch, and oh, she has his "supplies" -- a box of tubing, those tongue-depressor sticks, and cotton balls. Jimmy says he wants to "re-enact the accident" to try to trip his memory. He'll do this by building a model. Nurse Hornball says "that's real interesting." It is? What is this, the Playskool "My First Hospital"? She makes more innuendos that Jimmy doesn't get, bounces around, and leaves. Jimmy switches over to more America's Funniest Unsolved Murders of the Region, gets a clue -- the death doctor loves candy -- and The Man switches it back. TV party tonight. All right!

Surgery. This isn't ER, so can I skip the gruesome details? No? Dang. Then I'll be brief: a doctor -- who may or may not be evil -- refuses to give more anesthesia to his conscious patient. He surveys the knee, says the patient will "dance" again, and asks the Clearly Evil Doctor to close up. The DWMOMNBE scrubs up, reattaches his eyebrow that is peeling off, and pops a lollipop into his maw as the CED watches the patient seize and die on the table. Bum bum buuumm!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5Next

Lone Gunmen




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP