Lone Gunmen
Madam, I'm Adam

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C+ | Grade It Now!
Madam, I'm Adam

We have a midget wrestler's daughter's wedding. Little Lady is crying, however. Give her another Emmy. Marvin busts in and says the divorce came through. She gets mad that he saw her before the wedding. He says he saw her naked just yesterday, "how lucky was that?" I am going to send Little Lady a copy of Little Foolish Women, Here's How To Stay Away From Regular-Sized Jerks. It was a bestseller, you know.

Back at the goo, Adam jerks as he's zapped into a digitized, Sims-ish world where Lady Doctor is in black lingerie and wants him to make love to her. He's reluctant to, for some reason. Maybe…love? Oh barf, this episode is all about The Power of Love. Dude, tell it to Huey Lewis, okay?

The Lone Gunvan rolls up in front of the aqua-and-white restored house in Surf City, fully loaded with geeks who care about love. They reason that the squirrels on the telephone wires are concealing the video cameras that transmit the images of the house to Adam's goo-submerged brain. So, the gun-dudes start hollering, because, of course, the images are being transmitted live, and Adam can see and hear them, in his brain. Dude, what are the writers of this show smoking? Pass it this way. Adam gets up from his hot digital monkey love with Lady Doctor to go see what all the hollering is about. Yves, hacking in the van, "patches him through." What is she, Uhura? Then Jimmy says, you aren't here now, this is like a video game, and you're really in a tub of blue goo. Yeah, we know. Adam says, "So what?" Frohike says, "So?" Everyone say it -- SO WHAT?! SO, bust up the midget wrestler wedding, already. No, really, first Langly says that "virtual reality, with all its perfect weather and great sex, uh…" Frohike shoots him a look like, don't say it! In the name of all geeks everywhere, DON'T SAY IT! Jimmy finally says that "virtual reality isn't better than the real thing." And that, people, is Our Lesson of the Week. Act like you saw a rainbow and heard the "The More You Know" music.

Then they all charge in at the last second (I guess Surf City has a wrestling arena) and bust up the wedding of Little Lady and Marvin, to the swells of violins and -- is that Frank Sinatra? Yves curls her lip -- I think it only curls -- and asks Jimmy, "How do you like that ending?" The final shot is of Charley picking up Little Lady in his arms, kissing her, and spinning her around. I think I like that ending. Sigh. I'm fired, aren't I?

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Lone Gunmen




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