Wow, "Wesley" and "Dillinger" made it into Death Row in East Livingston, Texas, or so the blip on the screen tells me. Dude, the LGs have balls the size of fucking watermelons, man. I mean, the A-Team were in the Vietnam War. These guys are just nerds and journalists. Ten seconds elapse, Frohike is proved wrong, and our two LGs and some other prisoners are inspected, showered, sprayed, and outfitted in white jumpsuits that say "DR" on the leg. Handbooks are doled out to them by the Sarge, who warns the inmates not to lose or trade them. Handbooks? This is prison, not summer camp. So, the handbooks contain rules: "Follow the rules and there will be privileges. Break the rules and...it only gets worse from here." Um, it's Death Row, dude. Tell me there's motivation to follow the rules. What are the privileges? An extra fruit cup? Ooh, goody! So, they get locked down, and I guess they all settle in to pore over the handbook. Jimmy tries to comfort Byers, and they both agree that the hoosegow is "not like TV." Um, yeah, TV characters, isn't that a hard lesson to learn? Thanks for telling us how it really is. So, they start watching the inmate across from them, who's crawling around in his huge cell (as big as my bedroom, at least), calling for "Jiminy," his pet cricket. Jimmy is all like, "Um, Cell Ten? Excuse me? The cricket is right in front of your cell." The guy in cell ten stubs out his cigarette on the cricket (it's really a cockroach), killing it. Jimmy gets a hard look on his face and Byers reminds him why they're there: to bust out Doug Pfeiffer, because innocent men and jail shouldn't mix. And the LGs won't rest until this one guy, who's the son of one of their readers, is free. How deeply noble.
Outside the gutted Wally's Burgers in Houston, Frohike and Langly are bickering. And breaking in. Whoops, the guy who owns the glass store, two doors down, interrupts them. He says he saw Pfeiffer's face, and that he killed Wally in cold blood. Langly has a Motörhead shirt on. Commercial.
The jug. It's morning. Byers awakens and hears the cockroach guy feeding a new "cricket." He asks the guy in cell ten who Doug Pfeiffer might be, and the Barry White-throated inmate who delivers the breakfast tray says that Cell Ten doesn't talk, on account of his "sissy lisp. He sounds like a little bitch when he talks." That, and Doug Pfeiffer is in the infirmary. Okay.