Lone Gunmen
Maximum Byers

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Alex Richmond: B- | Grade It Now!
It's a Hard Knock Life

Outside a Texas motor lodge, Yves rolls up to visit Langly and Frohike. Why? Is she there? Again? She's aghast that the other two dudes are in stir. "Did it ever occur to you to pose as lawyers or guards or visitors from the governor's office?" It did not. The A-Team didn't play that way. So, they need her to employ her feminine wiles to go in there and talk to their men on the inside. Of course.

The pokey. Byers and Jimmy are not reading their handbooks. They're wondering how they can bust into the infirmary, now that they've busted into Death Row. Byers wants to get into a fight near a guard. Jimmy offers to take the hit for him. Let him do it, for god's sake. What better reason to have a big guy around? Byers and Cell Ten are taken out to the yard for some exercise. Just the two of them. Making castles in the sky, perhaps. Jimmy yells after them that Byers is his bitch. Byers and Cell Ten are led to little fenced-in pens. This jail is just like the place where I board my dog, except, of course, that my dog isn't serving a sentence, won't be executed, and doesn't have to wear a white jumpsuit. Yeah, there is a handbook. So, with a fence between them, Cell Ten drops to do knuckle pushups, and Byers starts teasing Cell Ten about his lisp. Thell Ten has cool tattoos. Thell Ten is also thensitive about his lithp: "You laughing at me?" Then he thort of thmacks the fence. You call that getting in a fight, Byers?

Yves sashays into the Big House Visiting Room where tube tops are smiled on, but weapons are not. She has borrowed Julia Robert's wardrobe from Erin Brockovich, and really looks W.T. All of us have a little white trash in us. Some of us have a lot. Yves is wearing a white belt, white hoop earrings, white Payless platform mules, a pink sleeveless top, and a floral skirt. Ugh. But, it's a look, she's working it. If you're a guy, you might get all excited about the push-up bra. I have breasts of my own, so it's no big.

Byers and Thell Ten are waiting to go back into their cells. Byers, thinking that a guard will break up the fight, provokes Thell Ten, and gets his ass handed to him on a tray. Inside, the guards are ogling Yves. Whoops. Byers made it into the infirmary, after all.

Visiting room. Jimmy, a little slow on the uptake (you knew that, right?), is surprised to see Yves. He does not ask where she got those clothes. She buys him a bag of cheese doodles, and though he says he likes "the puffy, not the crunchy kind," she manages to convince him to keep that bag for himself. Duh, Jimmy.

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Lone Gunmen




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