Lone Gunmen
The Lying Game

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The Lying Game

The blip says "Wilmington." Ah, Smellaware, the land of tax-free shopping and some okay beaches. The CEM is waiting, looking...well, evil, guilty, but uncaring. The Russkie rolls up in a limo and is like, you kicked a guy in my favorite club, you big dummy. CEM is like, he was blackmailing me, don't ask me what for. The Russkie is like, you were cheating on your wife. When can I meet her? "A woman that you're more afraid of than the cops...? I have to say, I'm intrigued." He rolls off, leaving the CEM in the alley.

Jimmy returns with his stand-up routine, but this time it's exposition: the LGs tail Skinner from D.C. to Delaware, to try to "catch him in the act." And Skinner doesn't notice the Lone Gunvan in his rearview. Whatever. Skinner rolls up near the neatly manicured dog park, and the LGs chug up behind him. They ask Carol to wait in the van, but tell her she can watch them through the rigged-up video-camera glasses Langly is wearing. They hide in the bushes, and the mischievous music starts up. The CEM has his dog with him, and Skinner is unamused. Apparently, Fremin is "cautious and doesn't take chances." Mm-hmm. The dog scampers off and starts humping Langly's leg. Carol tilts her head as she watches the hot dog-on-leg action. Sigh. Then, the Russkie rolls up. Fremin. Ruh roh. Carol de-vans, a scarf knotted at her neck, heading for the LGs, and safety. Skinner and the CEM wrap it up (with Skinner saying, "Don't contact me until you have a date and time") and then, boom, the LGs are caught. By Skinner. He wants to know why they are there. Um, er.

The CEM walks up to his car with his dog. A Russkie minion comes up behind him, and asks him to step into the car. Inside are the Russkie dude Fremin, and Carol. There's a gun to her head. Bamp.

Lone Gunpad. Jimmy is worried; the LGs haven't checked in lately. Wht-tshhh! He and Yves dither, and then trace the Lone Gunvan and find it's been impounded. Then, there's a "BLAM"! At the door: the FBI, in full SWAT team regalia. They raid the joint; Jimmy and Yves hide, cheeks pressed together, as in the tango. Jimmy manages a smile. Oy. But what about the LGs?

The LGs are okay, cooling their heels in some place with a ratty couch, a surveillance camera, and bunk beds. Skinner strides in and tosses the cover of the Lone Gunman at them. What gives? Frohike wonders why they should tell him. Langly says, "Yeah, you'll only kill us like you killed Byers's college roommate." Skinner stalks off, and Langly falls to pieces: "He's going to get a tarp! A waterproof tarp! I've seen this in the movies!" Hee. Then, Skinner is back with...the geek. He isn't dead after all. He's like, "Byers, right?" Skinner tells them that they're messing with an undercover sting operation. The geek says he was just trying to mess with the CEM, who was just a guy having "a chat-room fling," but his wife was FBI, and his wife was the chat-room chick, too. Whatever! Jesus. The Russkie dude wants to sell the CEM weapons-grade plutonium. Holy shit! And Skinner "faked Jeff's murder to keep the deal alive." And, they say the Russkie leaving the park with "a woman." Carol! Oh no!

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Lone Gunmen

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