Castiel flutters the good Doctor Visyak to a remote alleyway somewhere, where he and Crowley proceed to drain her of her Purgatory blood and leave her for dead. Unfortunately, Our Intrepid Heroes plus Bobby happen to stumble across the scene before My Sweet Baboo's had a chance to flutter away, so Castiel taps The Ginormotron on the latter's freakish Cro-Magnon skull, tearing down that wall Death had erected between his soul and his memories of Hell, or whatever. Darling Sammy thus ends up spending most of the episode in a coma down in Bobby's panic room, trapped in his own mind, where he does battle with various iterations of his splintered self in an ultimately successful effort to become whole again.
Meanwhile, Crowley and Castiel have taken to bickering with each other, and My Sweet Baboo attempts to renege on their previously established agreement to divvy up Purgatory's souls. Crafty Crowley, however, immediately makes a side deal with Raphael that initially seems to leave Castiel with little choice but to flee, but it turns out that My Cunning Baboo had one last trick up his sleeve. You see, they needed the good Doctor Visyak's blood to create a portal to Purgatory, but Castiel swapped the jars at the last second, so Crowley and Raphael end up painting a useless sigil while Castiel's off somewhere else, invading Purgatory and inhaling the millions of beastie spirits he finds therein.
By now practically vibrating with the additional energy from those millions of souls, Castiel returns to Crowley's lair, where he promptly scares his former partner off before snapping his fingers and detonating Raphael in a splattery bomb of angel guts that was far more effective the first time we saw it. Sam, Dean, and Bobby of course manage to bear witness to all of this, and the three react with appropriate amounts of horror when My Sweet Baboo -- crazed with power, naturally -- goes on to claim he's the new Capital-G God while demanding their groveling obeisance. Can't wait to see how Our Intrepid Heroes get themselves out of this mess, except for the part where I totally, totally can.
Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter THE ROAD SO FAR! Oh, God. "Wayward Son" again? Sigh. Remember when that song used to kick ass? Anyway: Once upon a time, there was an abortive Apocalypse, followed by this entire stupid and unnecessary season, which featured charming scenes of the quiet home life as enjoyed by Domesticated El Deano, Bendy Lisa, and The Brat; a touching reunion for Our Intrepid Heroes; Soulless Sammy shooting stray mutts in the face; Deformed El Deano hacking the heads off of sexy teenaged vampires; Slutty Sam pulling post-coital chin-ups; Soulless Sammy menacing Bobby with a knife; My Sweet Baboo fisting Soulless Sammy's innards to discover the latter's shameful secret; Capital-D Death retrieving Soulless Sammy's tattered and torn spirit from The Cage; Capital-D Death restoring Soulless Sammy's tattered and torn spirit to his body; Bobby most awesomely igniting a pile of dusty old demon bones; Daunted El Deano fleeing through the corn from supposed UFOs; Dauntless El Deano hacking his way through a series of down-low Starships; My Sweet Baboo searing the brains clear out of a variety of monsters' skulls; Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon immensely improving an otherwise hideously boring episode with his fabulous presence; the cunning deployment of Angel-B-Gon sigils; The Eve Of Destruction; Crowley's season-long search for Purgatory; The Goddess Of Truth; an egregiously dumb episode involving fairies and leprechauns; My Sweet Baboo's secret deal with Crowley to join in on the latter's season-long search for Purgatory; The Importance Of Souls; Raphael's arrogant intention to restart that abortive Apocalypse I mentioned above; the cunning deployment of Angel-Smiting Scimitars; My Sweet Baboo's Mighty Hands Of Discontent; Raphael's mid-season sex change; Crowley's faked death; The Eve Of Destruction's eve of destruction; and Short-Dick El Deano breaking up with his adorably rumpled little boyfriend for good. You want links? Knock yourself out.
Rattle, Rattle Tacky Blue Glitter NOW! Oh, Tacky Blue Glitter NOW! I think I'll miss you most of all. Even if you've so often been a LYING LIAR WHO LIES. And when the Tacky Blue Glitter NOW! has faded away for the very last time, the screen fills with an immensely aggravating hand-held jerky close-up of Darling Sammy's madly panicked face. It's my understanding they're pulling a Bourne with the way this sequence has been staged and shot, but as I have never seen any of those movies and have no desire whatsoever to change that fact now, I'll just have to believe what I've read on the Internet for once in my life. "It's making me woozy!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, who's looking especially green around the gills right about now, and Raoul, honey, the fifty or so flagons you've already consumed this evening are making you woozy. This is going to make you horf. "How indelicate! Make it go away! Make it go away!"