I never thought this day would come; after two awesome regular seasons, one awesome celebrity season (Kathy Griffin!), and one terrible celebrity season (Dennis Rodman?), I never thought The Mole would be back on television. And yet, here it is, and I am psyched. It's got me all nostalgic for past players -- remember Katie? And Bribs? And Darwin? Aw, Darwin. You were my favorite. I'll miss Andy Cooper and all, but this Jon Kelley looks promising. So let's get to it.
The first location is Los Angeles, Chile. The episode starts with like five minutes of scenic vistas, which is nice, but if they're trying to draw in new viewers, I don't know if this is the best editing strategy. People who are just flipping through are going to think they landed on one of those DVDs my in-laws like to watch that generally includes aerial footage of, like, Italy with classical music playing in the background. Snoozefest! Jon Kelley explains that twelve Americans are there to play a game "that will change their lives forever." He explains how the game works for you noobs; the players will complete missions and have the opportunity to earn money for the pot. One of the players is being paid to sabotage the missions -- that player is The Mole. Each week, the players will take a quiz about The Mole and the player with the lowest quiz score will be eliminated. At the end, the last remaining non-Mole player will win the money in the pot. It's that simple! I don't know why the ABC execs are always doing interviews about how complicated this show is to understand. I mean, the strategy is kind of complicated, but the actual rules of the game are pretty simple. So here are our players:
- Victoria, 26, a retail manager from Texas
- Mark, 42, a teacher/soccer coach from Wisconsin
- Bobby, 25, a restaurant manager from Philly
- Marcie, 31, a stay at home mom from California
- Nicole, 33, an OB/GYN from Chicago
- Paul, 29, a utility worker from Yonkers
- Alex, 31, a musician from Pennsylvania
- Liz, 60, a retiree from Montana
- Ali, 24, a model from St. Louis
- Clay, 32, an attorney from Pennsylvania
- Craig, 30, a graphic artist from San Diego
- Kristen, 35, a neuroscientist from Santa Monica
So, initial thoughts. There are a lot of people from Pennsylvania in this cast. And also, what's up with the model from St. Louis? I didn't know that was a fashion center. I feel like I've seen Craig before on some reality show but I think he just looks a lot like one of the guys from one of the seasons of Average Joe that got eliminated, like, the first night. Everyone else is pretty whatever at this point.