The Mole

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Kim: A | 1342 USERS: B-
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Paul Free! In Van Number Two!

Over in Alex's van, Craig and Alex start making up a song about Paul which quickly turns into the chorus of "Paul free! In van number two!" which is not only hilarious, but also sounds pretty good. Not since the days of the Kidney Stone song in Real World: Chicago have I so enjoyed an impromptu song made up while riding in a van. But also, if people are making up a song about how happy they are to be rid of you, maybe it's time to reassess your values. PAUL.

The next morning, everyone arrives for breakfast, and Paul is still pissed and sighing all over the place. Clay interviews that, as a Christian, he tries to have forgiveness. Jon points out that it's warmer there, but Craig is still kind of sick. He jokes that he thinks he deserves an exemption due to illness. Nicole hopes that in the next mission, they get to shoot someone. Yikes!

Later, the players arrive in some open area as Jon explains the next mission. They'll be split up into teams and have to travel via various means of transportation to a monument about five miles away. Each team that arrives earns money for the pot. Since they have an odd number, Jon has designated one person to be the transportation captain: Craig, because he was the first person to say the word exemption during breakfast. Craig will determine the teams and the forms of transportation. If none of the teams make it to the statue in time, Craig gets an exemption and no money goes into the pot.

Craig and Jon walk off to make the arrangements. Everyone else discusses how badly Craig wants an exemption. Jon takes Craig to an area where there are a number of modes of transportation laid out, including stilts, a donkey, tiny bikes, and a llama costume. Craig interviews that he was hoping for the exemption so he wanted to make it difficult for everyone.

Craig returns and explains that this is like the Race to the Summit, where no one faulted Mark and Kristen for going after the exemption. I get what he's saying -- if the players don't want Craig to get the exemption, they just have to try really hard. It's not like the last mission where getting the exemption screws everyone else over. Craig makes Alex dress as a conquistador and lead a donkey, and he'll be teamed up with Mark, who has to wear a scuba outfit with slippers. Clay will be riding a unicycle with Kristen, who will be using stilts. And finally, Nicole will be in the front part of the llama costume while Paul is in the rear. That's awesome. Especially because Nicole looks PISSED. Craig doesn't think that anyone else would have done anything differently. Mark starts bitching and says he won't even try, and he gets some of the others to start agreeing with him. They only need one team to get there, though, right? Jon said, "If none of the teams make it to the monument," then Craig gets the exemption. So one team couldn't try?

The Mole

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