The Mole

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Three More Celebrities, Part I

For the next game, the players report to a Mexican schoolhouse. Ahmad sits at the teacher's desk at the front of the classroom. Tracey interviews that she was scared when she saw the classroom, because she didn't do well in school. Each player takes a seat in the back row of the classroom. The chairs and desks are sized for tiny little people. Like, I think they would even be too small for children. Mark and Dennis look particularly ridiculous. Dennis interviews that we're about to see how stupid they really are.

Ahmad announces that this game is called "The Graduate." Because they had perfect attendance, he's going to put \$40,000 into the pot. Ahmad will ask questions from elementary-school textbooks. Each correct answer allows that player to move forward one row toward the front of the class. Each incorrect answer means \$1000 taken away from the starting total. The first person to the head of the class graduates, and secures whatever money is left for the pot. Ahmad asks Dennis is he understands the instructions. Dennis holds up his tiny chalkboard, which says, "Yes!" Heh. Ahmad says that there is an exemption involved in this game, and everyone sits up. Ahmad says that the first person to graduate will get an exemption offer. Each player has a disk that he or she can use to prevent another player from moving forward, but each disk can only be used once.

Ahmad asks the first question: "The earth has how many continents?" Tracey asks if it's multiple choice. Mark asks him to repeat the question. Mark says seven, and he is correct. Angie got it right as well. Tracey says that she thought seven, but she wrote five. Dennis wrote thirteen. I don't know.Ahmad says that's one of the dumbest answers he's ever seen. I actually feel a little bad for Dennis. Angie and Mark move forward, and \$2,000 is taken out of the total.

The second question is, "On which continent would you find the South Pole?" Dennis asks if they have to name it, and Ahmad retorts, "No, you just have to think it and I'll read your mind." ["Damn. Ahmad is a bitch today." -- Wing Chun] Mark didn't write down an answer. Angie thought it was South America. Tracey thought it was Greenland. Dennis thought maybe it was Canada. Ahmad tells them that Antarctica is the correct answer, so \$4000 is taken from the total and no one moves forward. The total now stands at \$34,000.

Ahmad asks the third question: "What is the name of the imaginary line that divides the globe across the middle?" Mark answered equator, which is correct. Angie drew a globe with an imaginary line, but Ahmad says that she needed to give the name. Angie calls him a mean teacher. Tracey gets it right. Dennis didn't write anything down. Mark and Tracey move forward, and another \$2,000 is taken from the total.

The Mole

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