Party. People look way too sober. Down-STAIRS, Zack's on top of Shelley. They're fully clothed, but Zack seeks to rectify that by going for the pants. Long story short, we're saved from an acute case of date rape by the brothers' arriving and pulling Zack off her. Sam swaddles Shelley in a blanket and says he's going to take her to the car, but he's back in the scene two seconds later. Zack snarls that the Carvers think they own everything. He didn't seem to mind that Shelley owns a pretty nice rack just a minute ago, but things change on TV pretty quickly. Anyway, some goons appear down-STAIRS, which is just a stable, by the way. I'm sure not putting this scene out on the lawn this Christmas. Even if Oliver Hudson is sporting the Jesus look that even Jeremy Sisto gave up a while ago. A brawl ensues, with Will totally throwing the first punch, for the legal-minded among you.

Dinner. "Barbara Hershey" is giving instructions when David, Shelley, and Sam arrive. She notices the large cut on David's cheek, but just gives him a "boys will be boys" look that seems a little inappropriate. She asks where Will is, and Shelley tells her he had to go pick up his date. Considering that they appear two seconds later, I guess he didn't have to go very far. David starts to ask his mother to give "the speech," since he isn't ready, although when he thought he would have had time to prepare a speech is beyond me. Seriously, this show. Anyway, he's interrupted by the appearance of Will and his "date," who's of course David' ex-girlfriend Maria. On a clear day, you could have seen that plot "twist" coming from Asia. Love triangles: Just another shitty dramatic device that The WB loves to torture its viewers with. If David tells Maria that she's his soulmate, I will not be responsible for my actions. The only thing that might save me is Sars or Wing beating me to The WB's offices. Oh, and seriously, the idea that no one (including Maria) told David about this is ludicrous. The only reason for no one to have told him is to set up this stupid, pointless scene. Maria nervously greets David, and David asks Will if Maria is his date. Will: "She's my girlfriend." Moving reaction shot of David. Or it would be, if Oliver Hudson could act.