"Last Will And Testament." Okay, this is a direct quote from the ostensible grandfather: "Funny thing about death. It comes along at the most inconvenient time." How insightful! How world-weary! How...retarded! Seriously, what does that even mean? Nothing. Much like everything else on this show. And the grandfather's played by Chad Everett, who certainly has enough credits on his CV that he should have stayed away from this dreck of a script. The grandfather tells "Barbara Hershey," whose character's name is "Gennie," that he knows they had their differences, but that he did the best he could and that he loves her. "Barbara Hershey" looks like she'd cry, if, you know, she still could. He next tells "Shelley," who's the snowboarding blonde from before, "Your mother could have given me a hundred granddaughters, and none of them could have made me any prouder than you." Well, that's a line that's not bizarre in any way. I mean, a hundred granddaughters? "Barbara Hershey" is feeling phantom labor pains just at the thought. Grandpa adds that watching her train is reason enough to get up in the mornings, as opposed to being hale and hearty (as Chad Everett clearly is) and rich isn't any reason at all. Next on the list is Anson Mount, "Will," who apparently "learned the ropes and fought like a good soldier. You turned Boundary into a world-class resort." Oy, there's that name again. And speaking of names, "Anson Mount"? Is there a side career in porn we don't know about? Grandpa then tells Oliver Hudson, who's Grandpa's namesake, that he was always a pain in the ass, forging his own path, just like him. Oliver Hudson manages to turn his sneering smirk into a watery, sniffly smirk. That's acting. Grandfather: "You're not going to like this." I didn't need a video will to tell me that, Pops. He leaves his "controlling shares" to David. "Turn the damn thing off." Would that I could, Pops. Would that I could.

Kitchen. David complains that he's not cut out for this, and that Will should be the one to inherit the mountain. "Barbara Hershey" snipes that the elder David did it for himself, which doesn't make much sense, but does not-very-subtly indicate that she has issues with her dead dad. Well, that won't be boring or anything. Shelley flounces in and says she's going to work out. Will pointedly asks, "Today?" Shelley, with a total lack of affect, breezes, "One day can make the difference." One day...of acting classes? Oh, and by the way, was there any kind of memorial service for the elder David? No? Just checking.