The Mountain
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Thar She Blows!

Hill, Snowboarders. Shelley, looking nervous. Sam tells her not to worry about how she places: "Just do your best." Aw. That's sweet, even though he totally thinks she's coming in last. She perkily says she's going to win. She nails every technique she tries, including the one she biffed earlier. Well done. I still hate her.

Travis tells someone that he got fired. Obviously, it's Max. Michael snarks, "Good job, Sis." I'd agree, but what job? What did she even try to do? Drive him away with crappy sex? "Mitch Pileggi" tells him to lay off, and says that at least Travis won't have to be a silent partner any more. So they made Travis a partner in their business while he was working for the Carvers? Couldn't they all get sued for like, a million billion dollars? My God, this show. Travis tells Max that she had a good plan, but Max sounds like she's going to cry as she says, "Not good enough." WHAT PLAN? She gets up and says she's going to Denver: "My boyfriend's racing tomorrow." Honey, the way he left things with you doesn't make you his girlfriend. It makes you his stalker.

Cut back to Shelley finishing. Her family's thrilled. David hugs her, then says goodbye, since he's still going to Denver. He tells Will he'll see him in the office Monday morning. Or Tuesday. "Or Wednesday, partner!" Shut up, David. And use the extra time away to WASH YOUR HAIR. Mountains. Mountains. Mountains. The Mountain...sucks rocks.

Next time: It looks like Max's loyalties might be shifting. More of the first week's unsexy sex scene, although there might be a new unsexy sex scene. I can't tell, and you couldn't pay me enough to slow-forward and find out. And all that's barring cancellation.

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The Mountain

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