The Nine
Pilot

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Pilot

With her father distracted by Super Gay, Felicia starts to walk toward the door, but then changes her mind and heads for the bathroom. First, she walks up to the ladies' room, which is under repair. Inside the men's room, Egan has taken his gun out and is staring at it. Felicia knocks on the men's-room door, startling Egan, and he drops his gun in the toilet. He fishes it out, and Felicia keeps knocking. Egan stuffs the gun in the back of the toilet, and exits the restroom as Felicia walks in. Would a gun even still work after being submerged? I admit that all of my knowledge of gun technology comes from television and movies, not actual experience. ["You don't go to the bank. You don't shoot guns. What good are you?! Hee." -- Wing Chun]

Outside the bank, the robbers jam clips into their guns and exit their car just as Jeremy and Lizzie walk by, hand in hand. Jeremy is bugging Lizzie to tell him her news, and she asks him to be patient. Jeremy stops at an ATM, grumbling about the line. Lizzie says that she has cash, but Jeremy doesn't want her paying for lunch. The robbers walk by, and Lizzie makes eye contact with Big Robber.

Inside the bank, Nick gets his receipt from Eva as the robbers walk in the door. Nick starts to ask Eva out, but before he can even get his request out, Franny walks by and accepts on Eva's behalf. Eva explains that Franny is her nosy sister. In the background, Big Robber notices that Nick is wearing a badge and cuffs, and suggests to Little Robber that they wait, since it will be tough to manage the cop and the security guard. Unsurprisingly, Little Robber thinks that they should go ahead as planned.

Outside, Jeremy complains loudly that people don't have their ATM cards out while waiting in line, to make things go faster. Because that would save a whole seven seconds per customer. What a dink. He needs to chillax. ["Ha! At this point, Glark was like, 'Seriously!' even though he goes to the ATM like once a year and usually just mooches cash off me." -- Wing Chun] Lizzie agrees to go inside.

Big Robber thinks that he and Little Robber should wait, because things aren't going according to plan. Little Robber grabs Big Robber and growls, "There is no other time. Now! I'll take the security guard, you take the cop." Security Guard lets Super Gay out as Jeremy and Lizzie try to slip in, even though the guard protests that the bank is closed. Before the guard can shoo Jeremy and Lizzie out, Little Robber elbows the guard in the face. Lizzie screams. Nick goes for his gun. Big Robber tells Nick to freeze. Little Robber makes sure that the door is closed and locked. Big Robber, his gun pointed at Nick, tells Nick to be still, and urges, "Don't try to be a hero, man. This will all be over in five minutes."

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The Nine

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