The O.C.

Right Back Where We Started From

By Sara M | Aired on 02.21.2007

The End's Not Near, It's Here - So ... this is it. I've never recapped a series finale before, unless you count that episode of 7th Heaven that was supposed to be the series finale but then wasn't. There won't be a last minute reprieve for...

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4-16 Recap	Right Back Where We Started From The End's Not Near, It's Here - The series ends with a bunch of brand new plotlines that are just like the old plotlines. Ryan and Taylor break up because they're too different. Julie has to choose between Frank and BULLIT. Seth and Summer aren't sure if they're supposed to be together forever. The Cohen house is condemned, so everyone runs off to the old house in Berkeley and convinces its current inhabitants to give it to them. Basically, instead of moving forward, we go backwards. Over and over again.	02.21.2007	C-	Sara M
Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
4-15 Recap	Turn The Page The Night Moves - Some people deal with scary disasters better than others. Ryan almost kills himself by refusing to tell Taylor about the glass spear sticking out of his back, Seth steps up to the plate and gets Ryan to the hospitalâ¦eventually, Kirsten looks tired, Sandy bosses everyone around, Summer cares only for her rabbit, and Julie and Kaitlin sing Bob Seger.	02.14.2007 02.20.2007	B-	Sara M
4-14 Recap	The Beginning Of The End The Shake Up - Kaitlin hates Frank, Kirsten hates all of Newport, Seth hates artsy films, and Newport hates being earthquake-safe. But Ryan loves Taylor! And then an earthquake comes and the whole town disintegrates.	02.07.2007 02.13.2007	B-	Sara M
4-13 Recap	Frankly, My Dear, I Don't Give A Damn The Case Of The Franks - For Valentine's Day, Taylor and Ryan conspire to bring Julie and Frank together. Seth and Summer have manufactured relationship issues. Kirsten's revelation to Sandy about her abortion is given about three seconds of screen time.	01.31.2007 02.06.2007	B-	Sara M
4-12 Recap	Dodging A Bullet The Groundhog Day - BULLIT's back in town and ready to propose to Julie, thanks to Kaitlin's online machinations. But she would rather be with her mystery man, who hits helpless people. Kirsten's feeling sick on the eve of her fortieth birthday, and we're all supposed to think she's Gravely Ill, but it turns out she's just pregnant. Bright pursues his feelings for Seth, gets them both arrested, and falls in love with someone more in line with his sexual orientation.	01.24.2007 01.30.2007	C+	Sara M
4-11 Recap	Clap Your Hands Say "Enh" The Dream Lover - Summer and Bright both want Seth. Henri-Michel and Ryan both want Taylor. Lucy and Kaitlin both want ChrisBrown. Julie is the only one who wants Kirsten, and she tells people they have Chlamydia in order to get her.	01.17.2007 01.23.2007	C-	Sara M
4-10 Recap	French Kiss-Off The French Connection - Taylor's French ex-husband shows up in town with a steamy novel all about her. Ryan feels inadequate. Seth goes to Seattle and realizes he does want to marry Summer, but she stays in Newport and realizes she doesn't want to marry Seth. And hallucinates. Kirsten finally figures out what Julie's been doing with NewMatch. Sandy walks around smiling and doling out advice.	01.10.2007 01.16.2007	C+	Sara M
4-9 Recap	Playing Chicken The My Two Dads - Seth and Summer see who will give in first on their race to the altar that neither of them wants to actually participate in. Kaitlin engages in a battle of wills against the only black kid in her school when a teacher assigns them to work together. And Sandy and Frank fight for the coveted title of Ryan's #1 Dad.	01.03.2007 01.09.2007	B	Sara M
4-8 Recap	The Flapjack The Earth Girls Are Easy - A pregnancy test, a rave, and a marriage proposal provide a lot of running around for the youngsters; a prostitution ring and a figure from Ryan's past provide a bunch of headaches for the grownups. Happy New Year's!	12.20.2006 12.28.2006	A	Jacob Clifton
4-7 Recap	Give It Up For Short-Term Memory! The Chrismukk-huh? - Ryan and Taylor work their stuff out during a coma that nobody takes seriously.	12.13.2006 12.19.2006	A	Jacob Clifton
4-6 Recap	School's Out For Summer The Summer Bummer - Until next fall, that is, as Bright has gotten her suspended from Brown. She goes back to Newport, where Kaitlin is planning a house party and Julie is trying to avoid BULLET's advances by telling him exactly where she'll be all weekend. Ryan can't stop having pedestrian fantasies about Taylor Townsend.	12.06.2006 12.12.2006	B+	Sara M
4-5 Recap	A New Match The Sleeping Beauty - Julie and Kirsten try to convince an obnoxious Texan to invest in their crappy business, while Taylor Townsend tries to convince Ryan to fall in love with her. Summer adopts a rabbit named Pancakes.	11.29.2006 12.05.2006	A	Sara M
4-4 Recap	Putting The "Meta" In "Metamorphosis" The Metamorphosis - Everybody moves on with their lives, being sure to throw in plenty of meta "jokes" about competing television shows and sucky third seasons along the way. Ryan and Taylor get close. Seth and Summer get further apart.	11.15.2006 11.21.2006	B+	Sara M
4-3 Recap	The White Elephant The Cold Turkey - Summer and Julie are forced to acknowledge that their grief over Marissa's death is affecting their relationships with other people, and it's time to move on. Volchok turns himself in and Ryan manages to keep himself from murdering him, and now he can move on. Taylor moves in with the Cohens after moving on from her mysterious French marriage. Dr. Neil moves out of town.	11.08.2006 11.14.2006	A+	Sara M
4-2 Recap	Honeymoon in Mexico The Gringos - Seth and Ryan travel (together!) to the least Mexican Mexico ever to hunt down Volchok. Sandy and Kirsten follow them. Julie juggles her revenge mission with her punk daughter. Taylor shows up at Brown to give Summer a dose of the truth. The refugees of Darfur lose.	11.07.2006 11.12.2006	B+	Sara M
4-1 Recap	It's All A Lie The Avengers - Unlike the title says, no one does any avenging in this episode. It's just a lot of dysfunctional mourning of Marissa's death, lead by Ryan the Angry, who still hasn't learned how to deal with anything that happens to him. Followed by Julie, who sends an unstable eighteen-year-old off to murder someone. Whoever said Season Four would get back to the classic Season One was probably lying, too.	11.01.2006 11.07.2006	C+	Sara M
3-25 Recap	A Twig, Snapped The Graduates - The kids graduate; Sandy thinks about returning to the D.A.'s office; Kaitlin returns to town for good; and Marissa finally dies in a montage of recycled bits from seasons past.	05.17.2006 05.23.2006	F	Sara M
3-24 Recap	Stating The Obvie The Man Of The Year - The world of Orange County has gone insane. Sandy isn't acting like a proper dad, Ryan helps Volchok steal a car, Marissa helps her sister, and Seth gets arrested. The only normal thing happening is that Kirsten is drinking again.	05.03.2006 05.09.2006	B	Keckler
3-23 Recap	Pirates! The Party Favor - That's the theme of Harbor's prom, attended by all the kids despite none of them really being together anymore. When Marissa's date openly cheats on her and steals five thousand dollars of after-party cash, Ryan practically kills him. Sandy finds out he's being investigated for the illegal business activities he isn't involved in. Argg!	04.26.2006 05.02.2006	C-	Sara M
3-22 Recap	Keep Trying The College Try - The four kids go off to visit their college campuses, only to return to Newport less thrilled about their future plans than ever. The O.C. hopes against hope that bringing back popular characters from the past will win its viewers back.	04.19.2006 04.25.2006	D+	Sara M
3-21 Recap	The Yawn Patrol The Dawn Patrol - Ryan goes to Albuquerque to see his mother and give her tickets to his graduation. But first, he has to hook up with her creepy co-worker. Seth dumps Summer for no good reason. Marissa realizes that bad boys aren't all fun and games when they're trying to rape people. Even if those people aren't very nice.	04.12.2006 04.18.2006	B-	Sara M
3-20 Recap	The Day After Yesterday The Day After Tomorrow - Even ripping off the name off of a recent blockbuster movie can't save this episode, in which the kids get their college acceptance (or, in Seth's case, non-acceptance) letters and promptly ruin their relationships with each other. Sandy continues to pretend he's a businessman. Adam Brody, you are no Jake Gyllenhaal.	04.05.2006 04.11.2006	C+	Sara M
3-19 Recap	Character Assassination The Secrets And Lies - Who is Matt and why is he bleeding?	03.29.2006 04.02.2006	D+	Djb
3-18 Recap	Another Tertiary Character Returns The Undertow - Jess the Drug Ho comes back just in time to help Ryan get over his White Knight complex and start a relationship with Sadie. Sandy continues to be the most boring businessman ever. Everyone has sex.	03.22.2006 03.29.2006	B-	Sara M
3-17 Recap	Journey To Nowhere The Journey - It's Ryan's eighteenth birthday, and it serves only to show us that, while this show may have advanced three years, it's still in almost exactly the same place. No one cares about Ryan, Julie loves money, Ryan's mom is a loser, Seth lives vicariously through Ryan at Ryan's expense, and Marissa is a drama queen who's attracted to the Wrong Guy. Except now, it's not new, fresh, and cute anymore.	03.15.2006 03.21.2006	C-	Sara M
3-16 Recap	The Replacements The Road Warrior - No one's ever lonely for very long in The O.C.! Ryan and Marissa break up and immediately find themselves some new prospects in Sadie and Volchok, respectively. Julie and Dr. Neil are hooking up and trying to keep it a secret. And Kirsten and Sandy pretend to still be relevant.	03.08.2006 03.14.2006	C+	Sara M
3-15 Recap	Broken Heads, Broken Hearts The Heavy Lifting - Johnny's severe head injury death puts only a slight damper on the Valentine's Day festivities as Newport's couples scramble around to make up with each other. All but one succeed: looks like Ryan and Marissa are over. Again. Some more.	02.08.2006 02.14.2006	C+	Sara M
3-14 Recap	Dear Johnny The Cliffhanger - Marissa is forced to make a decision between Ryan and Johnny. She chooses Ryan, and writes Johnny a letter informing him of her decision. Johnny doesn't take the news well at all. Dr. Neil dates another Newpsie. Julie doesn't take the news well at all. She doesn't throw herself off a cliff about it, though.	02.01.2006 02.07.2006	B+	Sara M
3-13 Recap	The Plot Burier The Pot Stirrer - Potentially good storylines about Seth's college anxiety and Sandy's move to the Business World Dark Side are pushed to the side so that we can watch Kaitlin continue her bad-girl lifestyle of "seducing" Johnny, selling pot to Seth, and sharing her love of The Sound Of Music, and Marissa continue to be worried about it. I don't think Kirsten and Ryan even exist anymore.	01.25.2006 01.31.2006	C+	Sara M
3-12 Recap	The Sister Can't Act The Sister Act - A brand-new Kaitlin returns to town after not setting foot in it for the last two years, and she's just as flat of an actress as her sister. She steals money, storylines, and her sister's non-boyfriend. Fortunately, Seth spreads rumors about genital warts and redeems most of the episode.	01.18.2006 01.24.2006	B-	Sara M
3-11 Recap	Harbor Is No Longer Safe From Marissa The Safe Harbor - And neither is any of the show's characters, all of whose presence in this episode -- with the exception of Kirsten, who never gets to do anything anyway -- is to help Marissa get back into Harbor whether she wants to go or not.	01.11.2006 01.17.2006	D+	Sara M
3-10 Recap	A Man Walks Into A Bar (Mitzvah) The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vakkah - Ryan has an honorary Bar Mitzvah to raise money for Johnny's knee surgery, even though Johnny keeps moving in on Marissa, and tries to rob mini-marts at gunpoint for no good reason.	12.14.2005 12.20.2005	C-	Sara M
3-9 Recap	Summer Stole Everyone's IQ Points The Disconnect - Summer gets super-awesome SAT scores, making Seth feel jealous and inadequate. Ryan interns at the NewNewport Group, only to be taken to a strip club by wunderkind-turned-moron Matt. Sandy smartly fires Matt for this, and then stupidly rehires him on the word of a stripper/lawyer. Kirsten starts to discover that nude maid and sweet corn ravioli-loving Julie might not be the best business partner. Marissa fails to understand that Johnny has feelings for her even after he outright tells her about them.	12.07.2005 12.13.2005	C+	Sara M
3-8 Recap	The Lame Plan The Game Plan - College applications are due soon, and the kids suddenly have to figure out where they're going next year. They base their decisions on trivial things like weather and boyfriends, causing all kinds of laptop-throwing, relationship-ending, knee-destroying things to happen. Julie moves to a trailer park.	11.30.2005 12.06.2005	B+	Sara M
3-7 Recap	Mismanagement The Anger Management - Ryan's plan to get out of fighting Volchok is to challenge him to a fight to the death and hope he runs away. Sandy and Matt have their first day at the head of the NewNewport Group, and immediately have to fire nine people. 7 'n 7's plans to steal the upcoming charity function money and run off to lawless Puerto Rico are totally destroyed by Julie, a microphone, and a real charity. Taylor Townsend tries to get Seth to like her by stealing Captain Oats.	11.16.2005 11.22.2005	C+	Sara M
3-6 Recap	Welcome To The Marissa Show, Bitch! The Swells - ...not like it was ever anything else. Marissa and Johnny get close, leaving their real significant others to wonder what's going on. Casey does something about it, hooking up with Johnny's surfing rival. Ryan broods and fights Johnny's battles for him. When other characters get a few seconds to do something non-Marissa-related, Seth is the first person to be nice to Taylor Townsend without having an ulterior motive. Julie figures out 7 'n 7's ulterior motives for being so nice to her. Sandy gets a new partner for the Newport Group.	11.09.2005 11.15.2005	C	Sara M
3-5 Recap	Gone Fishin' The Perfect Storm - Ryan gives up on his future, quits school, and gets a job on a fishing boat. Everyone else does their fishing on land, as Summer fishes for incriminating evidence of Taylor Townsend and Dean Evil's relationship, 7 'n 7 fishes for a new mark in penniless Julie, and Seth fishes for a storyline that doesn't limit him to buying or being a Sidekick.	11.02.2005 11.08.2005	B-	Sara M
3-4 Recap	The Vast Schmaltz The Last Waltz - Marissa goes to public school, where everything, including her new friends, is a gross and cheap version of Harbor. She ditches Homeschool Ryan a few times, but they make up and dance to a song from the O.C.'s latest soundtrack CD. Elsewhere, Julie's house gets repoed, and Kirsten decides to close the Newport Group, much to 7 'n 7's dismay.	09.28.2005 10.04.2005	C-	Sara M
3-3 Recap	Psych! The End Of Innocence - Despite the pre-show warnings of violent content and the ominous music, Jimmy is not murdered, because he was fortunate enough to borrow money from really nice loan sharks. Marissa is thisclose to leaving town for Hawaii, but then stays when Jimmy leaves Julie at the altar. We all thought Ryan and Marissa were having sex this whole time, but it turns out they were waiting for a Very Special Montage to do it.	09.21.2005 09.27.2005	C+	Sara M
3-2 Recap	The Shape Of Things We've Seen Before The Shape Of Things To Come - No one has learned anything in the last two seasons. Jimmy is still a weasel, Seth is still self-absorbed, two-dimensional characters of evil still abound, and Ryan still doesn't know how to control his Fists of Fury. The only difference now is that Ryan and Marissa won't be attending Harbor.	09.14.2005 09.20.2005	C+	Sara M
3-1 Recap	Resistance Is Futile The Aftermath - In the aftermath of Season 2, Trey has survived Marissa's gunshot, but remains in a coma. He finally wakes up to face Julie, who offers to pay him off if he accuses Ryan of shooting him so that Marissa can go to college. Ryan is arrested, and Marissa dons a candy-striper uniform to infiltrate the hospital and talk some sense into Trey. He recants, freeing Ryan, and then leaves town, making Ryan cry. Meanwhile, Kirsten's having so much fun in rehab with her new Borg friend that she doesn't want to come home.	09.07.2005 09.13.2005	C+	Sara M
2-24 Recap	The Dearly Beloved The Dearly Beloved - Sandy stages an intervention; Kirsten goes to rehab. Marissa blows a hole through Trey's chest to protect Ryan, which sort of dilutes the happy news that Julie and Jimmy are getting back together. But hey, there always has to be equilibrium in Newport -- where there's glee, there's gore.	05.18.2005 05.24.2005	B+	Heathen
2-23 Recap	The O.Sea The O.Sea - After Julie aborts her plan to poison Caleb, thus preventing him from filing the divorce papers, he goes ahead and has a fatal heart attack. That was nice of him. Kirsten and Sandy grow further apart when she doesn't take her alcoholism seriously. Ryan tracks Trey to Chino and bumps into Theresa. Summer and Seth reunite at the prom. George Lucas has a massive neck.	05.11.2005 05.16.2005	B-	Heathen
2-22 Recap	The Showdown The Showdown - Seth and Zach get into a fight at the Atomic County launch, and they force Summer to choose. She picks neither, but it won't last. Marissa is too traumatized to be with Ryan, who now thinks she and Trey might've hooked up. And Sandy confronts Kirsten about her drinking; they fight, and while they're making up, Kirsten's car is slammed into -- and practically pancaked -- by a truck.	05.04.2005 05.10.2005	B-	Heathen
2-21 Recap	The Return Of The Nana The Return Of The Nana - The Nana's goin' to The Chapel, so Sandy takes The Kids to Miami to check out The Fiancé. Meanwhile, The Wife upgrades to vodka after kissing The Other Man; The Twig gets roughed up by The Coked-Up Brother; and The Whiner sees The Tool make a Spring Break ass of himself, so she plants one on The Water-Polo Player.	05.04.2005 05.08.2005	F	Heathen
2-20 Recap	The O.C. Confidential The O.C. Confidential - Seth and Summer continue to bicker, ending in her walking out on him at a party he tricked her into attending. Zach may be trying to win her back. Sandy and Scoobies II: Atwood Boogaloo stage a ridiculous sting to get Trey off the hook, and Kirsten spends the whole hour looking like she wants to cheat but doing nothing.	04.20.2005 04.27.2005	C	Heathen
2-19 Recap	The Rager The Rager - It takes half an episode and a giant misunderstanding to get Ryan to forgive Trey, but he does it, and the ensuing party turns into a nightmare: A girl shows up floating in the pool, and Marissa almost gets blamed for the bag of ecstasy the cops find. Except that Trey takes the fall instead. Also, Seth gets in hot water with Summer, and Lance busts Caleb to Julie and offers to make him disappear, and Kirsten sabotages Carter's date.	04.13.2005 04.19.2005	C+	Heathen
2-18 Recap	Going Once, Going Twice...No Sale The Risky Business - A weird auction makes everyone in Newport pretend there's never been a weird auction there before, Tom Cruise gets more product placement than an emo band, and Marissa is hilarious. Djb? He likes Magnolia.	04.06.2005 04.09.2005	C+	Djb
2-17 Recap	Oh. Hello, Hermano. The Brothers Grim - The store clerk. The Chino bar crowd. The Cohens. Maybe Ryan himself. No one knows who it's going to be. But someone is going to be offended by Hermano. And someone is going to kick Hermano's ass.	03.23.2005 03.27.2005	B-	Djb
2-16 Recap	You Say You Want A Revolution? The Blaze Of Glory - No, actually. Nobody said they wanted a revolution at all. But for some reason, people won't stop leaving complimentary copies of it in each others' mailboxes anyway. Commies.	03.16.2005 03.18.2005	B	Djb
2-15 Recap	Lance In The Pants The Mallpisode - Julie Cooper-Nichol was totally in an amateur sex video. Phfffffft. At this point, who among us hasn't been?	03.09.2005 03.12.2005	C	Djb
2-14 Recap	Partly Believable With A 100% Chance Of Intermittent Eye-Roll The Rainy Day Women - In the verité column, this episode comes along during a time of actual endless rain in Southern California. So, Djb is kind of impressed at the "ripped from the headlines" approach. In the bad news column, Kim Delaney LIVES! In an undead way, but you know what we mean.	02.23.2005 02.27.2005	B-	Djb
2-13 Recap	The Chastity Report The Test - Zach and Summer didn't have sex. If Seth keeps up his current dorky movie regimen -- and his showering irregularity -- he doesn't have much of a chance either.	02.16.2005 02.21.2005	C+	Djb
2-12 Recap	The Maddest Lib The Lonely Hearts Club - Why is Caleb so obsessed with talking about Mad Libs, you guys?	02.09.2005 02.12.2005	B	Djb
2-11 Recap	The Second Chance The Second Chance - During a fight with Ryan, Caleb suffers a minor heart attack. Seth and Summer are working closely together on the comic, and they realize that if they spend too much time together, they will totally start making out, so they decide to try to stay away from each other. Sandy is harboring Rebecca -- who, it turns out, isn't really a murderer, after all, just someone who didn't want to rat out her friends and so instead lived as a hunted woman for twenty-two years -- at his office. Finally, the Lesbians start holding hands.	02.02.2005 02.08.2005	B-	Jessica
2-10 Recap	The Accomplice The Accomplice - Sandy's college mentor shows up and asks for Sandy's help in finding his daughter, Rebecca -- who, as it turns out, was Sandy's Big Love prior to Kirsten. Marissa and Alex engage in more flirtatiousness, up to and including pretending Marissa is Alex's girlfriend in order to irritate Alex's ex, and getting Marissa a tattoo. Caleb finally calls Lindsay and asks her to dinner. They're getting along swimmingly until Ryan shows up, and Caleb decides that the whole getting-to-know-you act was a play on Lindsay's part for some of his big bucks. Seth decides to write his own comic book, and it's all very cute.	01.26.2005 01.31.2005	B+	Jessica
2-9 Recap	The Ex-Factor The Ex-Factor - Alex's ex is in town, and she's a girl. Ryan decides that Marissa and Lindsay need to be friends, and the next thing you know, Lindsay is going on a Girl's Night Out with Marissa and Summer. Yeah, it doesn't go well, because Lindsay solves the problem of feeling awkward around Marissa by getting hammered, and Ryan loses his shit. Over at the Newport Group, Sandy wants to fund housing for the underprivileged, while Julie Cooper wants to start a magazine, because everyone knows that a MAGAZINE is really safe financial investment.	01.19.2005 01.24.2005	B-	Jessica
2-8 Recap	The Power Of Love The Power Of Love - Sandy gets in trouble with Kirsten for forgetting their anniversary. Julie Cooper offers DJ the LawnBot 2000 five grand to stay away from Marisa. Summer is jealous because Seth is having sex with Alex, and Summer's not sleeping with Zack yet. Finally, Lindsey and Ryan have all this drama around the Kirsten Is Weird About Us Making Out thing, and break up for about two minutes. As for Seth and Alex, let's just pretend Alex doesn't exist.	01.12.2005 01.18.2005	B-	Jessica
2-7 Recap	And The Wife Is Like, "Yeah, I'm Really Afraid" The Family Ties - Seth? Wifebeaters are for people who can actually throw the punch.	01.05.2005 01.09.2005	B	Djb
2-6 Recap	The Year Without A Hanukkah Zombie The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn't - Chrismukkah is almost ruined when everyone learns that Caleb is Lindsay's father. And Julie and Jimmy are totally doing it!	12.15.2004 12.21.2004	C	LTG
2-5 Recap	"The Snock"? The SnO.C. - Never try to pronounce an episode title of this show phonetically, because you'll end up with "The Snock" and all of your friends will laugh and laugh and laugh.	12.08.2004 12.12.2004	B	Djb
2-4 Recap	Trimming The Hegemony The New Era - In a running gag that should have kept right on running, each character pronounces a "new era" that ends up looking a whole heck of a lot like the old one. Star-crossed lovers, conniving fathers, and a sales pitch for a sellout band at The Bait Shop, and all is as it's supposed to be in the world.	12.01.2004 12.06.2004	B-	Djb
2-3 Recap	That's President Julie Cooper To You The New Kids On The Block - Mrs. Caleb schemes her way back to the center of the action this week, as she convinces her husband to put her in charge of his scandal-plagued company. Don't worry, enemies of corporate malfeasance. It's going to work out just fine.	11.17.2004 11.22.2004	B	Djb
2-2 Recap	Big Zach Attack The Way We Were - He's almost as cute as Adam Brody, and the line to get to him will probably be shorter. Djb's choosing the path of least resistance. Djb likes Zach.	11.10.2004 11.15.2004	B-	Djb
2-1 Recap	Welcome Back To The O.C. The Distance - Sigh. Fine. But this is the last time we'll do it..."bitch."	11.03.2004 11.08.2004	B	Djb
1-28 Recap	"I Am The Best Goddamn Dancer In The American Ballet Academy. Who The Hell Are You?" Center Stage - "I, Peter Gallagher, am the director of the Academy and a former ballet dancer myself. You guys, stop laughing. That's not a joke."	05.11.2000 07.24.2004	A+	Wing Chun
1-27 Recap	The Honeymoon Is Over The Ties That Bind - Caleb and Lady Heather get married, but no one really cares because they're all busy worrying about Ryan and Theresa and the love child that is definitely Theresa's but debatably Ryan's. Well, except Marissa, who is busy worrying about herself.	05.04.2004 05.10.2004	A	Joanna
1-26 Recap	The EPT The Strip - Theresa takes a pregnancy test, and it's positive! For some reason, she chooses Marissa as the first person with whom she shares this information. Marissa is predictably pouty.	04.27.2004 05.02.2004	A	Joanna
1-25 Recap	The Black-Eyed T The Shower - Eric Balfour got to be a good guy for about two seconds, until we learn that Eddie beats on Theresa. So, good guy, not so much. Also, all the Juicy Couture in the world can't hide Lady Heather's shocking past: she liked monster trucks!	04.20.2004 04.26.2004	B-	Joanna
1-24 Recap	Hammer Time The Proposal - Summer and Seth conspire to fix up Marissa's bedroom, because she's been too busy feeling bad for herself for the past eight months to do it herself. Also, Caleb proposes to Lady Heather, buys the restaurant from Jimmy and Sandy, and blackmails Marissa into living with her mom. It's a big week for Caleb!	04.13.2004 04.19.2004	B-	Joanna
1-23 Recap	She Used To Mean, Used To Be Sly The Nana - Funniest thing, saddest part was she never knew why/ Kicking her son for nothing was her favorite sport/ She had to take off, start enjoyin', 'cause life's too short!/ There's a new Nana in town, and she's feelin' good/ Got a smile, got a song for the neighborhood!/ Things are great when you're not buried six feet deep/ And The Nana's here to say -- with some chemotherapy life's gonna be -- so sweeeeeeeet!	03.30.2004 04.04.2004	B+	Joanna
1-22 Recap	Poor Colin Hanks The L.A. - Colin Hanks shows up this week as Grady, the star of the hit television show The Valley. He's not nearly as funny as he thinks he is, and he can't possibly think he's all that funny to begin with.	03.23.2004 03.29.2004	B+	Joanna
1-21 Recap	Not By The Hair Of My Chinny Chin Chinplant The Goodbye Girl - Eddie huffs and puffs and blows his way into The Big House, after he figures out that Ryan and Theresa had sex. Anna announces that she's leaving Newport, and Seth breaks her heart even more than he's already done by showing up at the airport not to win her back. Also, we learn that there's such a thing as chinplants!	03.02.2004 03.08.2004	B	Joanna
1-20 Recap	Finding Emo The Telenovela - Seth declares his like for both emo and Summer while standing on a tabletop in the Student Union. Also this week, Theresa comes back with an eye for Ryan; unfortunately, her fiancé Eddie is eyeing Ryan too, but for entirely different reasons.	02.24.2004 03.01.2004	B-	Joanna
1-19 Recap	Bangs And Banging The Heartbreak - Marissa gets bangs, and Seth gets banged. Neither event is a particular success.	02.17.2004 02.22.2004	A+	Joanna
1-18 Recap	The Gun In The First Act Doesn't Go Off In The Third The Truth - All the gun-waving that goes on in this episode and no one gets shot? Not even Oliver? Not even a little bit? Oliver succeeds neither in keeping Marissa nor in killing himself, and is ultimately led off to a hospital after Ryan talks the gun out of his hand. Also, Seth apologizes for treating Ryan like crap, but not for treating Anna like crap.	02.10.2004 02.15.2004	B-	Joanna
1-17 Recap	Mystery Of The Letter In The Locker The Rivals - Ryan continues his impersonation of a Hardy boy, first breaking into the school, and then into Marissa's locker to get to the truth about Oliver. When he finally gets there, though, no one believes him. So, in a very un-Hardy-like display, he beats the crap out of Oliver, which probably won't help his case much with Marissa. Foiled again!	01.20.2004 01.26.2004	C	Joanna
1-16 Recap	What Do You Do With A Drunken Sandy? The Links - After a night on the town with Jimmy Cooper, Sandy comes home drunk, spouting French nothings, the likely new co-owner of a restaurant. Meanwhile, the kids are off in Palm Springs, where Oliver takes his self-hatred out on a perfectly fine plate, then drives back to Newport to fake a drug overdose and imitate Carlton Banks.	01.13.2004 01.19.2004	C	Joanna
1-15 Recap	Oliver Twist(ed) The Third Wheel - Oliver continues to insinuate himself into the group's good graces, although not into the good graces of the O.C. police department, who bust him for attempting to buy cocaine at a Rooney concert. Ryan comes to his aid, offering up Sandy's services. Surprisingly, Sandy does not adopt Oliver.	01.06.2004 01.11.2004	C+	Joanna
1-14 Recap	Swinging In The New Year The Countdown - Kirsten's sister Hailey arrives to provoke the Cohens into almost becoming swingers. Marissa and Ryan agree to spend the evening separately, but then Ryan scales multiple flights of stairs to kiss her at midnight so that she won't kiss Oliver, instead. Also, Seth kisses Anna, but only, apparently, because she's there.	12.16.2003 12.22.2003	A	Joanna
1-13 Recap	Jesus And Moses Sittin' In A Tree The Best Chrismukkah Ever - Jesus and Moses work together to help Ryan realize the spirit of Chrismukkah! Also, Sandy prevails over Caleb in The Balboa Heights suit through Kirsten's ethically questionable interference; Marissa gets drunk and snippy; and Seth chooses Seth.	12.02.2003 12.08.2003	B+	Joanna
1-12 Recap	He's Here, He's Queer, Get Used To It The Secret - Newport's onto Luke's big secret this week: he wears colored contacts. And also? His dad's gay. Noopsie gossiping ensues. Meanwhile, Kirsten's attempt to bond with Lady Heather backfires in the form of a potential new neighbor: Caleb.	11.25.2003 12.03.2003	B-	Joanna
1-11 Recap	Giving Thanks For Adam Brody The Homecoming - It's Thanksgiving in Orange County this week, and Rosa's got the day off, which means everyone's eating Chinese food. But who cares about eating mu shu instead of turkey when you get to spend the holiday with Adam Brody!	11.18.2003 11.23.2003	A	Joanna
1-10 Recap	The Lady Prevaricates The Perfect Couple - Lady Heather lies to just about everyone to ensure her smooth reentry into Newport society after the Cooper family's spectacular implosion, but her best-laid plans are shot all to hell when Marissa sabotages the Lady's carefully orchestrated charity benefit by telling everyone that her mother's boning wrinkly Caleb. Drama!	11.11.2003 11.16.2003	B	Demian
1-9 Recap	That's Our Guy! The Heights - Seth Cohen's got girls this week (plural!) as Anna and Summer face off for his attention much to Sandy's eyebrow-popping surprise. Ryan and Marissa kiss on a ferris wheel after telling each other to kiss off in the pool house.	11.04.2003 11.09.2003	A	Joanna
1-8 Recap	A Pirate's Life For He! The Rescue - After successfully passing a placement exam, Ryan enrolls in the prestigious Harbor School, thus joining Seth in official (mascot) piracy. Jimmy and Lady Heather continue to feud; Sandy and Rachel continue to flirt; Mischa Barton continues to flounder. Also, a non-dieting Ryan doesn't study in the nude. Blimey!	10.28.2003 11.02.2003	B+	Joanna
1-7 Recap	Once Upon a Time in Mexico The Escape - The kids head down to Tijuana, where Marissa learns of her parents' divorce and Luke's infidelities. She also learns that swallowing a handful of painkillers and chasing them with tequila makes you sweat excessively and then roll around in the dirt.	09.15.2003 09.19.2003	B	Joanna
1-6 Recap	Summer Lovin' The Girlfriend - Seth gets a kiss from Summer, who succumbs to his charms when he recalls her love for a skinny squirrel and recites a poem about mermaids from the sixth grade. Also, Luke gets kissed by Marissa; Kirsten gets kissed by her father, Caleb; Ryan gets kissed by Caleb's girlfriend, Gabrielle; and China the Prettiest Pony gets kissed (goodbye) by Caitlyn. The only person (or animal) not getting kissed is poor, luckless Jimmy.	09.08.2003 09.13.2003	B-	Joanna
1-5 Recap	Donnie Dorko The Outsider - Ryan becomes a busboy from the wrong side of the tracks, and is befriended by fellow busboy from the wrong side of the tracks Donnie, who likes the crazy honeys and whose version of fun consists of breaking blenders and waving guns around at a party. Also, Marissa and Ryan frolic in the swimming pool and Luke gets shot.	09.01.2003 09.06.2003	B	Joanna
1-4 Recap	Fisticuffs and Wristicuffs The Debut - For the fourth straight episode, the fists fly; this week with Ryan, Jimmy, and Sandy on the receiving end of punches. Also, Ryan wears his leather wrist cuff again.	08.25.2003 08.31.2003	A	Joanna
1-3 Recap	Party Crasher The Gamble - Ryan's mother shows up and literally crashes Casino Night, after tossing back one or two or fifteen drinks too many and taking down a waiter. In her case, "one too many" is any at all.	08.18.2003 08.24.2003	A	Joanna
1-2 Recap	Burnin' Down the House The Model Home - Kirsten's "model home" goes up in flames this week, as does any semblance of subtlety on the show. In order to avoid the dreaded group home, Ryan goes on the lam, aided by a sweater-clad Seth and a loofah-bearing Marissa. Once happily ensconced, Ryan surrounds himself with open flames and paint cans. No one said he was smart, but he's pretty enough.	08.11.2003 08.17.2003	B-	Joanna
1-1 Recap	The Rich Man's Russell Crowe Pilot - He wears a fine wifebeater and is no longer a resident of Chino, having been rescued from "the hood" by Sandy Cohen, thus literally becoming the rich man's Russell Crowe. In this week's episode, we meet Ryan, whose puppy-faced expressions are winning, and Seth, whose every expression is winning because he's Adam Brody, and he's our boyfriend!	08.04.2003 08.11.2003	B+	Joanna