The O.C.
The Accomplice

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Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Accomplice

We open with beauty shots of Newport, and finally arrive on the pier, where Ryan, Zach, and Seth are ambling. Seth is still talking about Alex. I like to think that he's been talking about her since we last saw him. Nonstop. "I want to drive over there and ask her, 'Alex, are we in a relationship or not?'" he says. Oh, Seth. If you have to ask, you aren't. Also, didn't she totally dump your ass last week? Zach totally thinks Seth should go over there and find out what's up. Ryan acts as the voice of reason -- as usual -- and vetoes this idea. "It's been almost a week and I still don't know where I stand," Seth complains. Sweetie, you guys totally broke up last week. You're standing in Singlesville, Pop: YOU. Seth also wants to know if Alex is back together with "the lesbian ex" and, if so, would the two of them be open to some "ménage à threeway, as in the film Summer Lovers?" Which I believe is an obscure Peter Gallagher film. I want to know when they're going to reference Center Stage already. Please, Schwartz, I'm begging you. Also, I would like to point out that last week, Seth was not at all turned on by the lesbianism. Although maybe he hadn't yet, er, inserted himself into the action. I am grossing myself out. I'll stop now. Anyway, Ryan is all, "If you have to wonder about it, it's probably not happening," because, like I said, he's the Voice of Reason, and Seth is all, "Which part, the threesome or the relationship?" and I am all, "Please see the sixth sentence of this recap."

The boys enter the diner, and take a seat at a booth by the window. Zach asks Ryan if he ever had any doubt about his relationship with Lindsay, and he admits -- after some cough-prompting from Seth -- to having had a moment or two. Seth tells Zach that Ryan just showed up on Lindsay's doorstep and told her that he wasn't going away until she gave him a shot. Which is something that girls seriously love if they like you, and which seriously freaks them out if they don't. Zach thinks Seth needs to just go to Alex and "tell her what [he wants]." Seth sort of gives him a look and asks if that's how it is between him and Summer. Zach thinks about this and reconsiders his advice. He thinks maybe Seth should just focus on himself. Or on comics! Zach needs to focus on GETTING A HAIRCUT. "At least I got my friends," Seth sighs. And...enter Summer. She takes a seat next to Zach. Enter Lindsay. She takes a seat next to Ryan. And poor Seth, feeling like a left out singleton -- the adolescent Bridget Jones of Newport, if you will -- leaves rather than be the fifth wheel. On the way out, he scribbles in his journal, "Obsessive thoughts about Alex: 679. V. bad."

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The O.C.




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