The O.C.
The Anger Management

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Mismanagement

Marissa tells Chili about the Volchok problem so that Chili will know to look out for Volchok if he shows up at school. I'd say the chances are pretty good of that happening, since Volchok appears to be about the age of a tenured teacher. Marissa orders Chili not to tell Johnny about any of this. Chili says he hopes their shared secret will bring them closer together. So...it would be weird for Marissa if she knew Johnny had a crush on her, but not when it's Chili? How does that work? Of course, Johnny overhears Marissa telling Chili not to tell Johnny something, and immediately figures out that it's about Volchok. Marissa confesses that Volchok threatened to fight Ryan, and Johnny storms away to deal with Volchok himself, not liking the idea of Ryan fighting his battles for him. Marissa can't figure out a way to convince Johnny not to go after Volchok, so she settles on her time-honored routine of making this about herself and how it will affect her: "What is it with you two? I'm so sick of this!" she whines. Then she's all, "Fine! Do whatever you want! I don't care! Whatever!" and sticking her lower lip out, and Johnny crumbles. He promises not to fight Volchok, because while he's not scared of a surfer with a twenty-pack, he is scared of "upsetting a lady." He's like a pint-size version of John Wayne.

Ryan and Seth discuss the Taylor Townsend problem. Seth doesn't understand why Taylor Townsend thinks she and Seth would be good together, even if Summer wasn't in the picture. Ryan seems to disagree, saying he thought Seth said that Taylor wasn't all bad. Seth points out that, in fourth grade, Taylor Townsend campaigned against making their school handicapped-accessible, saying it was "reverse Darwinism." That would make me think a lot less of Taylor Townsend if not for the fact that you know there aren't any handicapped kids going to Newport's elite private schools, so those ramps would be a needless expense. Really, it makes me think even more of Taylor Townsend. She must be really smart to know Darwin's theory all the way back in fourth grade like that. Seth's other reason is that he doesn't want Dean Evil's sloppy seconds.

Someone who does like sloppy seconds is Volchok, who is currently seated atop Ryan's car with his gang. They're eating lunch. Oooooh, a picnic -- that's hardcore. Ryan tells Seth to get Security, but he doesn't, because that would be too easy. You'd think an expensive school like that would have enough of a security presence in the parking lot to stop non-students from sitting on a student's car like that. Come on, now. Ryan tells Volchok he won't fight him. Volchok makes fun of Ryan for being rich, and Seth holds Ryan's hand to keep him from doing anything impulsive and steps up to try to defuse the situation himself. His efforts to make friends out of enemies doesn't work and, as a huge crowd of Harbor students gather around, Volchok whips out some car keys and proceeds to scratch a long, noisy line into the door. Ryan makes a fist. Volchok decides that the Ryan Rover could benefit from a name, and scratches "Little Bitch" into it. Ryan relaxes his fist, grabs Seth, and walks away. The Harbor kids ooh and ahh over how stupid someone could be to vandalize something in the middle of the day in front of countless witnesses.

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The O.C.

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