The O.C.
The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn't

Episode Report Card
The Year Without A Hanukkah Zombie

Sandy's hanging out on the docks again. Renee Wheeler (Aunt Lindsay's mother) walks up to him, and he thanks her for meeting him there: "I've run out of places to go. I've had so many clandestine meetings lately, I feel like I'm in an Oliver Stone movie." Sandy tells Renee that he understands that she fears losing her daughter if she comes forward. But then he switches from empathetic mode to threat mode: "You may lose her either way. The DA's convinced that Caleb was bribing someone in the City Council's office -- bribing you. And unless somebody testifies differently, they have enough evidence to send you to jail." I would think the DA would need some actual evidence that Renee had, you know, done something for Caleb in return for his money if they were going to make out a bribery charge. Renee wonders how she can tell her daughter that she's been lying to her all these years, and keeping her away from the rest of her family. Renee, have you taken a look at the family you've been keeping her away from? She might turn out to be grateful. Sandy tells Renee that she's Caleb's last hope for staying out of jail, but she just apologizes and walks away.

Physics classroom. Although it doesn't seem as though class is actually in session -- it looks more like there's just a bunch of students engaged in some self-motivated study. As if. Is there even a Physics teacher? Anyway, Ryan walks in and finds Aunt Lindsay hard at work. He asks her if she plans on studying right through the holidays. Aunt Lindsay: "I hope so. Keep me distracted from having to remember it's actually Christmas." She doesn't think anyone really like the holidays, but Ryan has a counterexample for her, telling her that Seth has "even invented his own super-holiday -- Chrismukkah." He describes it as "eight days of gifts followed by one day of many, many gifts. We eat Chinese food and watch Christmas movies, although last year we watched Over the Top." Aunt Lindsay tells her sob story, about how she and her mother stopped even putting up a Christmas tree, and how, when she was a kid, "all [her] friends were waiting for something from Santa, and [she] was just hoping for something, anything, from [her] dad." Ryan asks if she's still waiting, and she says she is most definitely not: "Every kid who grows up stops believing in Santa. I stopped believing in my dad." Ryan is all sympathetic, in light of his experience with his own crappy family. He takes pity on her and invites her to come celebrate Chrismukkah with the Cohens. That's nice -- leave her mother to feel even more sad and lonely on Christmas. Lindsay asks if they can watch Over the Top. Ryan: "I think I could watch that movie a hundred times and never get sick of it." Well then, it has far more staying power than this episode.

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The O.C.




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